STALKED
by
J
Disclaimer:
I
just bend them to my will, and then put them back!! They belong to Joss, ME, and anyone else
(who is not me) that gets a cut!!
Rating:
It’s
not rated!! HUH??? What the Hell’s up with that?!!
L
Feedback:
Pwease? Pwetty pwease?? I’ll pout… GIMME, GIMME, GIMME!! I don’t get nuffin’ else for doin’ this…
pwease???
Pairing:
Buffy/Tara
(Who else do I write???)
Summary:
Is
it really stalking, or not???
~HLM~
Tara
stood back from her darkened window, watching as the person in the shadows of
the tree kept a close watch on her window.
Feeling her heart racing again, this not being the first time she’d seen
the shadow beneath the tree. Tara
wondered if the person knew they were being watched, just as she herself was
being watched.
She
wondered if it wasn’t somehow her fault.
Oh, she knew she held part of the blame, after all, hadn’t she had a hand
in it, but she wondered if she wasn’t now to blame for the person standing in
the dark, watching, always watching.
Tara
sighed and pushed away from the wall she was leaning against. “I’m sorry, Sweetie.” She curled up on her bed and hugged a
pillow to her chest, allowing the feeling the watcher was waiting for to come
forth and surround them.
It
started innocently enough. Tara had
just wanted to help. She didn’t
realize that what she was doing would become habit. Not just for her, but for the person
outside, standing alone in the dark.
Alone, where they thought they should be. Tara wanted to change that. That was what she craved now, but not
sure if that would be allowed. She
didn’t know if it was possible to change the unspoken rules they shared. She knew she had to try. This deep seeded want… no, not want…
need… this soul deep need, was slowly driving her crazy.
~HLM~
Buffy
closed her eyes as she felt the warmth and love infuse her. This was what kept her going day after
day, night after night. This was
what she craved. She’d wait as long
as it took just to receive this.
Fearing the day it would stop, but knowing it wouldn’t as long as both of
them were here. Only the death of
one of them would end this. Or so
she hoped as she waited every night.
Buffy
remembers the first time she’d felt it.
It was the first night she was back. She’d said she was tired just to get
away from them, but there was no way she’d be able to sleep, she just needed to
be alone. There were too many
pictures, noises, voices… just too many everything’s running through her
head. She just wanted to get
away.
Sitting
in her room she felt the walls start to close in on her, finding it hard to
breathe she opened the window. That
wasn’t enough, though. She found
herself leaving her room, practically running to get out the back door just to
be able to breathe.
She
remembers being curled up in a chair in the backyard, staring at her damaged
hands when she first felt it. She’d
closed her eyes, soaking in the warmth that she suddenly felt surrounding
her. The love she felt was
palpable, or so she’d thought at the time.
She’d basked in the comfort she’d felt until it disappeared just as
suddenly as it had appeared.
She’d
been thoroughly confused after that.
Was it just her mind playing tricks on her? Could she really have felt the comfort
of where she’d been as if never having been pulled from there? She’d only had to look at her hands to
know that it couldn’t have been real.
But that wouldn’t be the last time she’d feel it. No. She’d feel it again and again, not
knowing where it was coming from for the longest time, but embracing it just the
same.
But
then she knew. She knew where the
solace came from.
~HLM~
Tara
slowly lets the connection dwindle away, having found that it was less painful
for her, and she hoped for Buffy as well, that way. It having gone through her head often
enough, that the quick loss would be for the Slayer, exactly what they had done
to her in reality… ripping her from Heaven, just to leave her in Hell.
Tara
felt the tears start as they did every night. She wondered if the Slayer felt them,
too. Goddess knows she’d shed
enough of them to water an Elysian field.
She often wondered what it was like for Buffy, where she’d been… but
they’d never talked about it, how could they.
She
could only hope that it was like the pictures she’d formed in childhood, the
dreams of a happy end only a child could conjure. Fields of wildflowers, streams
crisscrossing the paths, animals and critters of every kind in abundance… and
the people you loved that had gone before… all waiting to welcome you with open
arms, surrounding you with love. To
be able to think as that child once again... perhaps wishful thinking… but one
could hope.
She
promised herself that some day she’d ask, but for now… she could only hope. She didn’t realize how close she’d come
to giving Buffy back those feelings when she made the connection each
night.
Tara
sighed and rolled onto her back, knowing that the dreams would come again, but
being powerless to stop them. In
truth, she didn’t want them to stop.
The dreams were what kept her going every day… gave her a reason for
existing. Her mind wandered back to
the one time that she had held the Slayer in her arms… arms that craved to have
that for real some day.
~HLM~
Buffy
whimpered when she felt the connection start to weaken, it was something that
happened every night, but that didn’t mean she had to like it. Knowing Tara was laying in bed now,
Buffy stepped out of the shadows as was her custom. She longed to be there with the Wiccan,
feeling the arms for real that had once held her close. She gave one last longing look to the
window when the connection was severed before she slowly turned away, whispering
as was the ritual. “Sleep well,
Love.”
Buffy
left to make another patrol around Sunnydale before heading back to the cold,
empty place she called home. Willow
and Dawn were still there, but the only warmth she’d felt had left when the
Wiccan did that long ago night.
~HLM~
Tara
had been standing against the counter in the kitchen, lost in thought it had
taken her a moment to realize that Buffy had come into the room. She watched as the Slayer stood looking
out the back door, rain pouring down in buckets not allowing her to go out as
she normally would.
She’d
hesitantly stepped behind the Slayer, her arms, as if of their own accord,
wrapping around the Slayer’s waist.
She’d done it for comfort, but now… she wondered if it was the Slayer she
was comforting or herself.
Buffy
never turned but she did sink into the warmth behind her, wrapping her arms
around the ones holding her. That’s
when she’d realized… “It’s
you…”
Tara
never had the chance to question what the Slayer had meant, Willow had come
banging through the front door then.
Tara had softly kissed the top of the Slayer’s head, gave her a gentle
squeeze, and slowly pulled her arms away as Willow had walked into the
kitchen. She did nothing to hide
the exchange from Willow, answering the raised brow with one of her own. She’d done nothing wrong, and refused to
allow Willow to think that she had.
Buffy
had stiffened in Tara’s arms when the front door opened. Her first instinct was to pull away, but
the arms wouldn’t allow it. She’d
stayed within the warmth until they were slowly removed. Sighing at the loss, Buffy turned and
nodded to Tara before she left the room.
She’d been afraid to make eye contact with the Wiccan for fear Tara would
be able to see right through her.
Tara
had sadly watched the Slayer climb back into her shell and leave the room, but
she’d understood. Buffy was still
standoffish with everyone, she’d been surprised when the Slayer had allowed the
initial touch, let alone her leaning back into her and covering her arms.
Things
with Willow had been strained to say the least before that, afterwards… it was
all downhill. They’d finally come
to the conclusion that things between them were over… there was no need to
pretend anymore. Tara had
grudgingly moved out shortly thereafter.
She hadn’t wanted to leave, but there was no way she could stay.
She’d
found herself at the window of her dorm room that first night. Old habits die hard. She’d become so used to looking out the
bedroom window, down upon the Slayer who sat alone in the backyard. She’d hear the Slayer leave her room,
and then she’d leave their bed to stand watch over the Slayer. She never knew her want to comfort the
Slayer had done just that. Not
until the night of the day she’d held her for real.
Buffy
was in her usual spot when she’d felt it.
Now she knew where it came from.
She’d thought it was all in her head, wishful thinking that somehow
someone had been looking over her, giving her a small piece of what she’d
lost. But when the arms had wrapped
around her in the kitchen earlier that day, she knew. It hadn’t been some unearthly being that
comforted her. Buffy slowly turned
her head, looking up to the window and into the eyes of the one that was the
comfort.
Buffy
had sent back her own hug of comfort and thanks that night. Whether the Wiccan knew it or not, Buffy
could feel her. She felt the
turmoil within the Wiccan. The loss
of the love she’d shared with Willow, Buffy could feel it as if it was her
own. She also felt the need Tara
had to comfort her. In that moment
Buffy knew things had changed, though she didn’t know if it was for the better
or not. She knew things in her
world would be changing soon, and she couldn’t fault the Wiccan her
choices.
Tara
had watched as the Slayer slowly turned to look right at her, as if into
her. One thing kept reverberating
softly in her mind, over and over again.
“It’s you…” When Buffy gave
her a nod and a soft smile, Tara had felt it. She then knew that Buffy could feel her,
and in return, she could feel the Slayer.
As
if in unspoken terms they’d meet each night in their respective spots, Buffy
always in her spot in the backyard, Tara always at hers in the window. They’d continued each night until Tara
left.
Tara
had wondered that first night… could Buffy still feel her. She hadn’t seen the Slayer for a couple
weeks and had begun to wonder if she was slowly going crazy. Who in their right mind stood night
after night at their window? She
didn’t know if Buffy had felt it, but Tara was thinking it was time to stop the
nonsense. When she’d finally come
to the conclusion that this would be her final night at the window, she saw the
shadow beneath the tree shift and take form.
Buffy
stepped out of the darkness and into Tara’s sight, she’d felt the turmoil once
again. She’d sent her own form of
comfort to the Wiccan, letting her know she didn’t stand there in vain. When the Wiccan nodded and smiled softly
at her, Buffy smiled back then stepped back into the obscurity of darkness.
And
so it continued each night.
Somewhere along the way things had changed, though. Feelings had shifted and become so much
more... question was, what to do about that fact.
~HLM~
Tara
spent her time that day after classes pacing her room. She’d told herself that something had to
change, and she’d vowed to herself that it would happen tonight. Once that decision had been made, then
the worry about the outcome had started.
It
had been getting harder and harder to keep her true feelings from working their
way into the connection each night.
It was time for the silent communication to stop, and the real
communication to begin. She knew
that she’d fallen in love with the Slayer somewhere along the way, when exactly
that had happened, she couldn’t say.
But it was real, it was palpable, and it was something she didn’t want to
deny any longer.
She
just hoped that the Slayer felt the same.
There were times when Tara thought she’d felt it, but wishful thinking
and all… it wasn’t something she felt confident in relying upon. Tonight would either be the happiest
night of her life, or the lowest.
With thoughts of the latter, she’d almost talked herself out of it. She didn’t know if she’d survive if it
were that.
As
the sun set, Tara stopped her pacing.
She was grateful that a friend had left for the weekend, asking her to
feed her fish in her absence.
Taking a deep breath, Tara picked up the key and left her room. Tonight she’d stand vigil from another
window, one in which she wouldn’t be seen by the Slayer from as she waited her
arrival.
~HLM~
Buffy
stopped on the edge of the courtyard that she always stood in. Scanning the area as was her custom
before moving into her usual spot.
Something felt off, but she couldn’t place it. She double checked the shadows, but
didn’t feel the usual sense of threat if it were vampire or demon. Nothing set of her spidey senses. She took up her usual position to await
the warmth.
~HLM~
Tara
held her breath as the Slayer came in to view. She noticed the hesitation and hoped
that it wasn’t her causing it, but in a way, hoping that it was. That would mean there was nothing else
out there. Taking a deep breath,
Tara turned from the window. “It’s
now or never, Tara. It’s time for
the truth… and the consequences.”
She slipped out of the room, hoping as she did that the cost wouldn’t be
too much to bear.
~HLM~
Buffy
had heard the soft footfalls, but not sensing any danger she’d disregarded them,
her attention focused upon the window.
Tara
knew it was risky to walk up behind the Slayer without saying anything, but she
took the chance, anyway. When Buffy
didn’t turn, Tara shakily wrapped her arms around her as she took the final step
closer to her.
Buffy
stiffened momentarily until she felt the warmth. “It’s you…” She wrapped her arms around Tara’s as
she sank back into her.
“Yes.” Tara kissed the top of the Slayer’s
head.
They
stood for long moments before Buffy finally turned in Tara’s arms, wrapping her
arms around the Wiccan as she lay her head on her shoulder. “Is this real?” She barely breathed out loud enough for
Tara to hear.
“Yes.” Tara kissed her temple and rested her
cheek there as she pulled the Slayer even closer.
They
both basked in the warmth of the other’s presence.
Tara
finally kissed the Slayer’s temple, pulling her head back as she brought a hand
up to cup the Slayer’s cheek. “Look
at me, Sweetie.” She kissed the
Slayer’s forehead as she waited for Buffy to open her eyes.
“I
don’t want the dream to end.” Buffy
whispered softly before she opened her eyes.
Upon
hearing the softly spoken admission, Tara let her heart be seen within her
eyes.
Buffy
whimpered softly as she watched Tara’s eyes. What she saw there made her knees go
weak. Never in a million years
would she ever think that the Wiccan could return the love she felt. But it was there, plain to see.
Tara
watched as first shock, then relief, and then love flooded the Slayer’s
eyes. She whimpered softly herself
as her eyes filled with tears, but happy tears for a change, as she slowly
lowered her lips to the Slayer’s.
Buffy
choked back a sob when she felt the lips softly brush against her own, holding
tighter to the Wiccan as they both cried into the kiss.
It
was a kiss of relief, of love, of hunger and un-foretold passion.
Tara
rested her forehead against Buffy’s as she ended the kiss. “Take me home, Sweetie.” She choked out over a sob.
“You
are my home.” Buffy gently swept
the Wiccan into her arms, carrying her from the shadows to her room.
Tara
whispered a spell to unlock the door, she wasn’t about to let go of the Slayer
now that she had her.
Buffy
used her foot to close the door before she climbed on the bed, gently set the
Wiccan down, and curled up with her.
Both
doubted they’d sleep that night as they held each other close, softly exchanging
kisses in between the tears.
Tomorrow
would be soon enough to make dreams come true, tonight was about letting the
reality of the dream come true, settle in.
There’s
always hope…
THE
END!
HAPPY
LITTLE MINION - FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED!!