FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS, OR SOMETHING MORE?

 

BY

 

KINETIC-KID

 

 

 

Rating:             NC-17 (XXX - Sex ?? What Sex??!!!)

 

Disclaimer:       Definitely no money being made. All characters belong to Joss Whedon and ME. I own nothing except whatever characters I may make up for this story. I just like to play with them - I promise to put them back after I’m done!!

 

Distribution :     Oh yeah, anywhere, anytime. Just make sure I get credit and let me know where it is.

 

Spoilers :           Pretty much everything - if you haven’t watched BTVS - why are you reading the fanfic???  This story is, of course, AU!!  Picking up at the end of “Dead Things”, the scene will basically be the same, but soon afterwards will go completely AU.  (No wish/being locked in the house)

 

Feedback:         Please, Please, PLEASE!!! I live for feedback. I get irritable and upset if I don’t get any and I might not continue writing. Of course, if you don’t like the story and think it sucks you may not want me to continue!

 

Pairing:            Subject to Author’s whims - B/T Now - Previously  W/T 

 

Summary:          What happens when after Buffy has the meltdown on Tara’s lap the blonde Wiccan comes up with a healthier, but completely unorthodox way to help the slayer back to herself? 

 

 

Prologue

 

Meanderings…

 

Every now and then I wonder what might have happened, what could have been if I had chosen differently.  Sometimes I dream, and the dreams end horribly with splashes of red and darkness.  Other times the dreams end with a feeling of happiness and love, vague remembrances that leave me smiling softly when I waken.

 

But we can’t tell what might have happened if we had chosen a different path.  I guess that’s how you end up with different universes and different worlds.  Something happens to change something… or maybe something doesn’t happen that changes the course of many peoples’ lives. 

 

Who’s to say who’s right and who’s wrong?  I just know that even with all the ups and downs, the loves, heartaches and pains, I’d make the same choices over. 

 

Maybe you’d like to hear about that time?  Maybe you would have made different choices?  Gone down that other path and/or paths?  I don’t know, but this is the path I chose to take, for all the good and bad I’d choose it again…

 

***

 

“I-I’ve double-checked everything.  There’s nothing wrong with you.”  Tara smiles softly at the slayer leaning towards her from where she’s sitting on the coffee table.

 

“Then why can Spike hurt me?”  Buffy swallows, really hoping that she had come back wrong.  Not wanting to accept the fact that some part of her wants to have sex with Spike, because she really, really doesn’t want to. 

 

“Well, I said that there was nothing wrong with you, but...”  Tara hesitates for a second trying to decide on the best phrasing.  “You are different.  Shifting you out of... f-f-from where you were… funneling your essence back into your body… i-it, it altered you on a basic molecular level.  Probably just enough to confuse the sensors or whatever’s in Spike’s chip.  But it’s all just surface-y physical stuff.  It wouldn’t have any more effect than… a bad sunburn.”  Tara finally explains, hating her stuttering over the explanation, but thinking about Spike hurting Buffy unsettles her and makes her worry that there’s something else going on, since Buffy should be able to dust the vampire if he is hurting her. 

 

Buffy feels the tears come to her eyes as she thinks about Tara’s explanation.  “I didn’t come back wrong?” 

 

“No, you’re the same Buffy… with a deep tropical cellular tan.”  Tara tries to lighten the mood when she sees the tears in Buffy’s eyes, frowning as Buffy seems to become even more upset.

 

“You must have missed something.  Will you check again?”  Buffy questions, fighting the urge to hyperventilate at the thought there’s no reason but herself for what has happened.

 

“Buffy, I-I promise, there’s nothing wrong with you.”  Tara unconsciously reaches across to pat Buffy’s hands that are clenched between the slayer’s knees a couple times before pulling her hand back to her lap, becoming more worried by the second at the slayer’s unusual actions.

 

“There has to be!!  This just can’t be me, it isn’t me.”  Buffy starts to breathe heavily as the tears start to fall down her cheeks. “Why do I feel like this?  Why do I let Spike do those things to me?”

 

“You mean hit you.”  Tara states, though she’s questioning her comment even as it escapes her lips at the way the slayer’s acting.

 

Buffy glances at Tara for a second before looking away, the guilt she’s feeling not letting her keep the eye contact

 

Tara frowns at the slayer’s actions, closing her eyes as it occurs to her exactly what’s happened… or happening.  “Oh.”  Tara rubs her hands over her knees in consideration of this new revelation.  “Oh, huh.  Really?”

 

“He’s everything I hate.  He’s everything that… I’m supposed to be against.  But the only time that I ever feel anything is when…”  Buffy shakes her head lightly and continues a few seconds later after the hesitation.  “Don’t tell anyone, please.”

 

“I won’t.”  Tara whispers softly, her eyes sad as she looks at the broken-hearted slayer.

 

“The way they would look at me… I just couldn’t…”  Buffy cries as she thinks about the disgust that would come from her friends.

 

“I won’t tell anyone.  I wouldn’t do that.”  Tara tries to help Buffy calm down, only ever remembering the slayer breaking down once before and that was when Buffy and Riley had broken up and then the slayer had thought she was leaving Willow and Xander was leaving Anya. 

 

“Why can’t I stop?  Why do I keep letting him in?”  Buffy whispers, trying to understand why she lets it happen.

 

“Do you love him?”  Tara questions, concerned as Buffy just stares at her, the tears slowly working their way down the slayer’s cheeks, trying to think of what to say, she continues quickly.  “I-it’s okay if you do.  He’s done a lot of good and… and he does love you.  A-and Buffy, it’s okay if you don’t.  You’re going through a really hard time, and you’re…”

 

“What?  Using him?  What’s okay about that?”  Buffy interrupts hoarsely, her voice somewhat shaky.

 

“It’s not that simple.”  Tara whispers, leaning gently towards the slayer. 

 

“It is!!  It’s wrong.  I’m wrong.  Tell me that I’m wrong, please…”  Buffy starts to cry fast and hard now.  “Please don’t forgive me, please…  Please don’t…”  Sliding off the coffee table onto the floor, Buffy kneels placing her head in Tara’s lap, crying uncontrollably. 

 

Tara exhales softly at the slayer’s actions before slowly placing her hands on Buffy’s head, gently stroking over the slayer’s blonde locks at a loss as to what to say.

 

“Please don’t forgive me…”  Buffy sobs into Tara’s lap, the Wiccan’s skirt muffling her words.

 

Tara swallows and gently strokes her hands down the slayer’s shaking back as Buffy buries her face even more into her lap, the slayer’s tears soaking through her skirt.  Deciding for now to just comfort the slayer, tomorrow will be soon enough to try and figure out a way to help the slayer, knowing she can’t allow the woman to continue on as she is.  It’s slowly tearing her apart and that’s something she can’t allow to happen.  The woman had come to mean too much to her over the years to allow Spike to drag her into the darkness with him.

 

***

 

Chapter 1

 

Tara’s eyes follow Buffy as the slayer darts out of the kitchen to show Richard where to park as her eyes come back to Spike.

 

“Stupid git.”  Spike snarls, feeling a serious bolt of jealousy as he fights his demon. 

 

Tara darts a quick glance at Clem.  “I thought he was cute.  Not that I’m a g-great judge of character or anything.  Was he cute?”

 

“I think he seemed cute.”  Clem nods, grinning showing the small sharp teeth as his skin wobbles. 

 

“Bloody fuckin’ great.”  Spike snarls at the two before disappearing into the house. 

 

Tara frowns as she watches the vampire stride out of the kitchen.  Not having a chance in the last couple weeks between school and Buffy working to talk to the slayer after her revelation.  Just knowing from the way that Buffy had looked at Spike and Spike’s obvious looks that whatever it is, is still going on. 

 

“Would you like a beer?”  Clem offers one to Tara, smiling hopefully at the human, having to admit she’s okay looking.  But she would be beautiful with a lot of extra skin. 

 

“No, thank you.”  Tara smiles at the demon.  “I’m not much of a drinker.”

 

“Oh, okay.”  Clem shrugs and opens a beer as he watches her leave with a quick smile over her shoulder. 

 

***

 

Tara watches the interactions between Buffy and Spike, trying not to be obvious.  Noticing Spike searching out the slayer at every opportunity and Buffy trying to make a hasty exit to whatever room is closest to try and get away from the vampire.  Her plan of action settling a little firmer in her mind that Buffy needs something, and unfortunately Spike is the only one offering… more like forcing onto her what he thinks she needs.

 

When she doesn’t see Spike or Buffy for a few moments, she excuses herself from the group that are dancing and talking under the excuse of getting something to drink.  Working around the back of the stairs to enter the kitchen that way, she stops, somewhat shocked as she sees Buffy’s hand high on Spike’s thigh, extremely close to his crotch.

 

Buffy jerks her hand away, glaring at the vampire that had just placed her hand on his leg, trying to force her to touch him.  Shoving him out of the way she strides out of the hallway and through the kitchen, heading back to the living room.

 

Fighting a burst of anger that darts through her, Tara blinks and tries to put on her most innocent look as she glances at the vampire, knowing her features help in that department.

 

“I, uh, had a muscle cramp.  Buffy was helping.”  Spike offers up somewhat lamely.

 

“A muscle cramp…”  Tara trails off, a smirk crossing her face as she looks down at the vampire’s crotch.  “In your pants?”

 

Spike looks somewhat taken aback at the witch’s look.  “What?  It’s a thing.”

 

“Right.”  Tara grins wickedly at the vampire.  “A thing… a small thing.”  Tara strides by the vampire.

 

Spike shakes his head and narrows his eyes as he turns to watch the witch walk by.  “Did Glinda just say my dick is small?”  He growls softly to himself, unconsciously looking down at his crotch before striding out of the kitchen.

 

***

 

“Why do they always insist on giving me a birthday party?”  Buffy mumbles to her reflection in the mirror after washing her face.  Spinning around, she heads to her bedroom to gather her tools of the trade to do a patrol.  Xander, Anya, Richard, Clem and Spike having thankfully left recently as the party finally came to an end.  Smirking as she remembers Tara snarking at the vampire when Spike made a comment. Somewhat shocked at the witch speaking up and her running interference for her, but also eternally grateful.  Sighing quietly as she realizes she hasn’t really had a chance to talk with the Wiccan since her meltdown, Buffy pulls on a light jacket and tucks away a short sword inside it, being honest with herself that she had been more or less avoiding the witch while continuing on with her depraved, sick thing with Spike.

 

Gently trotting down the stairs, she hesitates as she listens at the entrance to the dining room as Willow and Tara talk.

 

***

 

“’Night, Dawnie.”  Tara hugs the teenager before she darts up the stairs, chuckling quietly at the thought going through her head that the teenager claimed tiredness and going to bed more to get out of helping with the clean-up than being tired.

 

Willow gathers the paper plates and plastic silverware as Tara starts gathering the cups.  “The party turned out well.”  Willow tries to start a conversation with Tara, honestly only having exchanged hellos and a few comments the whole night with her ex-lover.

 

“Yes, it did.”  Tara smiles softly as she glances quickly at Willow before double-checking the living room and making her way to the kitchen.  Dumping the leftover liquids into the sink before throwing the cups away, she sighs quietly at the sight of Willow fidgeting nervously with the chip bag.  “I hear it’s been a month, you’re doing well, Willow.”

 

“Thirty-two days magic free.”  Willow smiles self-consciously at her ex-lover. 

 

“Congratulations.”  Tara rinses a dishcloth and starts to wipe down the counters. 

 

“I, uh… I was wondering if you would want to have coffee sometime.”  Willow rambles the question quickly and hopefully as she looks at her ex-girlfriend.

 

Tara hesitates in wiping down the island, inhaling sharply at the obviously hopeful note in Willow’s voice, slowly raising her eyes to make contact with green eyes watching her nervously.  The hopeful look obvious on Willow’s face confirming what she’d heard in the redhead’s voice.  “I’m…  Willow…”  Tara takes a deep breath and tries to figure out what to say to Willow.  “You’re doing wonderful with not doing magic, Willow.  Extremely wonderful, as a matter of fact.  But I don’t know…  I can’t…  Shit!”  Tara runs a shaky hand through her hair. 

 

“I understand.”  Willow feels her bottom lip quiver, not really understanding, having honestly thought if she could prove to Tara that she was serious about not using magic that she would come back to her. 

 

“I-I’m not sure you do.”  Tara shakes her head as she sighs and leans against the island.  “Willow, I don’t think this is the best time to get into a heavy discussion.  I am happy for you, and couldn’t be more pleased that you’re getting your head together.  But right now, I have things I need to work through.  My feelings, thoughts, hurt and anger about what happened.  I’m not to the stage of dating you, Willow.  I don’t know when or if…”  Tara drops her eyes at the hurt crossing Willow’s eyes with her words.  “I need more time.  I want to be your friend, but that’s all I have to offer you right now.”  Tara leaves the ‘or possibly ever’ hanging silently in the air, knowing by the look on Willow’s face that her ex-lover heard the unspoken words.

 

“I… I think I’ll…”  Willow trails off and hurries out of the kitchen.  The tears that she’d been holding back falling down from her eyes rapidly as she understands a little better that she may have lost Tara’s love for good. 

 

“Goddess.”  Tara groans and rubs a hand roughly over her eyes, catching the quiet sob coming from Willow as she runs away.  “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Willow.  But I can’t come back to you.”  Tara whispers to herself, unaware of the slayer entering the room. 

 

Buffy looks down the hallway, Willow already out of sight, sighing softly at the sound of her running up the stairs and the door to her bedroom shutting forcefully, the sobs muffled. 

 

Tara flinches at the sound of the slamming door, before finally finishing wiping down the counter, her head jerking when she catches movement out of the corner of her eye as she goes to rinse the dishcloth. 

 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”  Buffy unconsciously holds her hands up in a defenseless gesture, having seen the shock, surprise and the brief flare of fear cross Tara’s face before she realized who was standing there.

 

Tara presses a hand to her chest, and smiles at the slayer.  “I just wasn’t expecting anybody.  Short of running the vacuum cleaner and wiping down the furniture in the living room, everything’s picked up and cleaned up.  I guess I should be heading home.”  Tara turns back and places the cloth over the sink before drying her hands on a towel. 

 

“I’ll walk you.”  Buffy offers automatically as she follows Tara into the living room.  Looking over her gifts, smiling at the leather bracelet Tara made for her. 

 

“My gift is two-fold… or maybe multi-fold.”  Tara comments softly, seeing what Buffy’s playing with. 

 

“Huh?”  Buffy blinks and looks at Tara as she sets the bracelet back on the table. 

 

“Bring it, and I’ll explain.”  Tara picks up her purse and fanny pack, hooking the pack around her waist before placing her purse over her shoulder. 

 

Buffy picks up the bracelet, smiling at the sight of the different stones weaved into the homemade leather band, having to admit that the black, silver, gold along with the pink swirling stones contrast and look good in the dark brown leather. 

 

Seeing Buffy about ready to put the bracelet on, Tara steps over and covers her hand gently.  “Wait until after I tell you about it.”  Tara gently eases the bracelet from Buffy’s hand and tucks it away into her pocket. 

 

Buffy furrows her brows at Tara taking her birthday present away from her.  “Hey!  That’s my birthday present.”

 

Tara chuckles softly as she heads for the door.  “It’s still your birthday present.  I just want to explain it to you, before you put it on.” 

 

“Birthday gifts that need explanations worry me.”  Buffy grumbles as she follows the witch out the door, stopping to turn and lock the deadbolt before trotting down the steps to catch up to Tara. 

 

“I didn’t have a chance to talk to you after you opened it, and I couldn’t explain it with everyone else around.”  Tara admits softly, darting a quick glance at Buffy as the slayer moves beside her. 

 

“Why not?”  Buffy looks curiously at Tara as the witch slow downs and pulls the bracelet back out of her pocket. 

 

Running her thumb over the stones, Tara sighs quietly.  “I know we haven’t spoken since a few weeks ago, but…” 

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry for that.”  Buffy shifts slightly, feeling uncomfortable about how she’d broken down on the Wiccan’s lap.

 

“There’s no reason to be sorry, sweetie.  I just wanted to be able to do something more for you.”  Tara holds up the bracelet, a sad smile crossing her face.  “This is one of my options, and probably the only one that you’ll take me up on.”

 

“One option?”  Buffy stops and looks at Tara curiously as the witch blushes lightly. 

 

“In time, Buffy.”  Tara fidgets nervously before taking a deep breath.  “This bracelet is a protection bracelet of sorts.  Along with the natural protection abilities of the stones, I’ve added protection spells to them to strengthen their effectiveness.”  Tara runs her finger over the black stone and the gold stone.  “The obsidian and Pyriate stones are protection stones.  The pink stone is a Rhodocrosite to help with your energy flow, emotional expressiveness, and… self-love.”  Tara glances up briefly into hazel eyes watching her intently.  “The last stone is a moonstone.  It’s to help you get in touch with your feelings.  I started working on this bracelet the day after I found out about Spike being able to hurt you.”  Tara looks down at the bracelet for a few minutes, before taking a deep breath and looking up to make contact with hazel eyes not giving anything away.  “I’m hoping that this will give you a choice, if you want it.”

 

“I…”  Buffy starts but stops, not knowing what to say as she searches warm blue eyes watching her almost hesitantly.  In that moment realizing that where everyone else would have been disgusted with her, talking her to death or calling her everything in the book about what she’d been doing with Spike, Tara had gone out and worked on something to help her.  Pushing up her jacket, Buffy silently holds out her wrist in front of Tara, giving her silent consent that she accepts the witch’s gift. 

 

“Thank you.”  Tara whispers, tears coming to her eyes as she carefully knots the bracelet around Buffy’s wrist so it won’t come undone unless someone actually unknots it. 

 

“I think you have that backwards.”  Buffy reaches up and carefully wipes a tear from Tara’s cheek.  “Thank you.  And thank you for tonight.”

 

Tara tilts her head as she looks questioningly at the slayer.  “For tonight?”

 

“Running interference the second half.”  Buffy smiles tremulously at the witch.  “I noticed, and it was appreciated.  He knows if he pushes I’ll give in.”  Buffy makes the admittance with a wince.

 

Tara clenches her hands at the slayer’s comment, fighting the anger working its way through her at the thought of the vampire pushing Buffy while she’s technically unstable and needing human contact.  Silently wondering if the vampire knows this and that’s why he’s pushing so much, forcing himself on her trying to get her to form an unhealthy attachment to him. 

 

Buffy furrows her brows as she notices the anger crossing Tara’s face, the witch’s eyes going from warm blue to a cold gray in seconds. 

 

“Do you…”  Tara closes her eyes and takes a deep breath, shaking her head.  “It’s getting late, and I’m keeping you from patrol.”  Tara turns and heads down the sidewalk at a good pace.

 

“Tara?”  Buffy trots to catch up to Tara.  “Did I make you mad?”

 

“No, sweetie.  You did nothing to make me mad.”  Tara smiles sadly at the slayer.  “I’m mad at Spike for forcing himself on you.  I’m mad at us for bringing you back and leaving you hurting and needing something that none of us could see, but he obviously did.  I’m positively pissed at the fact that he hits you.  But I’m not mad at you, sweetie.  I couldn’t be mad at you.”  Tara shakes her head as they make their way down the street. 

 

Buffy softly lets the air she’d unconsciously been holding in out.  “What were you going to ask?”  Buffy finally asks softly.  “And… do you feel like keeping me company on patrol, I’ll drop you off at your apartment before going home?”

 

“I’d be more than happy to go on patrol with you, sweetie.  As a matter of fact, anytime you want me, I’ll go with you.”  Tara makes the offer softly, her eyes serious as she looks towards Buffy. 

 

“I might take you up on that offer.”  Buffy murmurs, thinking it might help her keep from giving in to Spike. 

 

“Please do.”  Tara follows Buffy into the nearest cemetery, staying a couple yards behind the slayer while keeping her eyes open for anything coming their way. 

 

Buffy waits for the new vampire to rise from his grave, darting glances at Tara every few seconds.  “You never finished your other question.”

 

Tara sighs and tucks her hands in her pockets.  “I was going to ask if you knew the reason why you allowed Spike to…” 

 

Buffy looks at Tara in surprise.  “Hit me, fuck me, or both?”

 

“Either or.”  Tara finally looks up from where she was staring at the ground.  “Do you care for him?”

 

Buffy stares at Tara for a few minutes and slowly shakes her head.  “No.  What I feel is nothing like caring, liking, love or even desire.”

 

Tara worries her bottom lip in thought.  “Are you looking for contact, Buffy?  Human touch?”

 

“I…”  Buffy groans as the vampire finally digs his way out of the grave, her attention now on the vampire instead of the conversation.

 

Tara watches as the slayer trades blows with the vampire for a few minutes before she finally seems to get bored and stakes him.  “You don’t have to answer my questions, if you don’t want to, Buffy.  I’m just hoping that there might be a way to help you.” 

 

“I know, Tara.”  Buffy brushes off the vampire dust, using the minutes to think.  “I don’t know what I’m looking for.”  Buffy whispers, her eyes finally lifting to look at Tara.

 

“I’m here for you to talk to any time, Buffy.  I don’t want you to feel like you have no one to talk to or go to if you need someone, or even if you just need someone to sit quietly with while drinking a cup of coffee.”  Tara offers softly.

 

“Was this my other possible present that you didn’t think I’d take you up on?”  Buffy finally breaks the silence that had appeared after Tara’s offer as they stood silently in the middle of the cemetery looking at each other. 

 

“No.”  Tara shakes her head and finally turns to make her way out of the cemetery.  “I’m not so sure you’re up for that particular offer just yet.”  Tara silently wonders if she herself is up for that offer, having a feeling if Buffy were to take her up on it, that the slayer would end up wiggling her way further into her affections to where she’d be unwilling to give her up.  But if it helped Buffy, she’d be willing to take that chance.

 

“I’ll let it go for now, but next time I ask, will you tell me?”  Buffy looks around as they make their way further towards town feeling like they’re being watched but not seeing anything.  Silently wondering if Spike was hoping that she’d be out by herself for him to harass and possibly give her his version of a birthday present.  Shivering uncontrollably at the thought of what that might be Buffy silently thanks Tara again for keeping her company on patrol. 

 

“With the stipulation that you don’t ask while anyone else is around.”  Tara allows a small smile to cross her face as Buffy darts her a questioning glance.  “Not something I want to tell you with a bunch of people around us, Buffy.  Especially if you decide to yell, scream, punch and kick me before you stomp angrily away and never have anything to do with me again.”

 

“I would never do that, Tara.”  Buffy shakes her head at the thought.  “And you’re making me awfully damn curious as to what this other present is.”

 

“You’ll know eventually.”  Tara nods her head at the vampires across the street.  “Duty calls.”

 

“Bastards.  Always interrupting when I’m trying to have a discussion.”  Buffy growls loudly at the thought before urging Tara to follow her.  “Don’t get too close, but don’t go too far away, either.  I don’t want anything to happen to you.”  Buffy warns as she heads towards the three vampires.

 

“Yes, ma’am.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer’s warning.  Pulling out a couple items from her fanny pack, Tara prepares a spell in case it’s needed as she watches the slayer work on fighting the vampires.

 

***

 

Chapter 2

 

Buffy sighs quietly as she sees the bleached blonde vampire heading towards her.  Having effectively avoided him for the last few days after her birthday party she knew it was going to be a short reprieve. 

 

“Been a while, Slayer.  Thinkin’ maybe you and I should get together.”  Spike smirks as he lights a cigarette, coming to a stop in front of the slayer.

 

“I don’t.  I don’t want to be with you, Spike.  So leave.”  Buffy goes to step around the vampire, really not feeling anything but disgust for what she’d done with him, growling softly under her breath when he grasps her upper arm.

 

“Ain’t that easy to get away from me, pet.  You came back wrong.  You’re like me now and I got what you need.”  Spike snarls in Buffy’s face, not liking the way she tried to dismiss him. 

 

“I am not like you!”  Buffy hisses into Spike’s face.  “I can walk in the sunlight, Spike and I don’t need to drink blood to live, so let me go.”

 

“NO!”  Spike yanks her to him hard while digging fingers roughly into Buffy’s arm, crying out at the sudden pain shooting through his head from his chip going off.  Releasing the slayer and pushing his hand against his temple, he groans loudly.

 

Buffy exhales softly and sends a silent thank you to Tara.  “Seems I didn’t come back wrong, Spike.  Maybe there was a little glitch in your chip or something.  But everything’s as it should be, now.  So find some other way to get your kicks because I’m not going to be your punch and fuck toy no more.”

 

“Bitch!  You need me, you can’t lie to me and tell me you didn’t want and need it.  We destroyed a fucking building, slayer!  You enjoy being with a demon, the violence is somethin’ you crave.”  Spike invades Buffy’s personal space, going nose to nose with the slayer. 

 

“I didn’t know what I was doing, and GOD!  Do I ever regret it, there’s not a moment that I don’t wonder what the hell had gotten into me to fuck you not once but three different times!!  But it isn’t going to happen again.”  Buffy shoves the vampire away from her. 

 

“You came back wrong, slayer.  No matter what you say, you came back wrong.”  Spike closes the distance between them again, grunting as Buffy slams her fist in his jaw, spinning him away. 

 

“I DID NOT COME BACK WRONG!”  Buffy yells at the vampire.  “Don’t push your luck, Spike.  You keep pushing me and I’ll dust your ass.  There will be no more pushing me until I fuck you.  I’m not going down that road again.”

 

“You don’t have the balls.”  Spike snarls.  “I helped while you were DEAD slayer.  I was here with the Scooby’s fightin’ the good fight.  And you’ll come back to me, I got what you need.”  Spike rubs his hand down his crotch, his body having already reacted to the closeness of the slayer along with being hit.

 

“Riiiight.”  Buffy states the word with as much sarcasm as she can, casting a disgusted look down his body.  “And you would have sucked every one of my friends dry if you didn’t have that chip in your head.  The only reason you probably helped was for the blood and money that they probably bribed you with.  And you ain’t got anything I can’t buy at the Sunnydale sex shop.”

 

“Fuck you, slayer…  Oh, that’s right I already have, multiple times in fact.”  Spike smirks at Buffy as the slayer jerks as his barb hits home.

 

“Leave me alone.”  Buffy growls angrily at the vampire.  “Stay away from me, my friends and family.  You have nothing to offer me, or anyone else.  You’re treading on thin ice, and the only reason I haven’t dusted you already is because you’re fixed.”  Buffy slams her fist into the side of Spike’s head with every bit of power inside her, hopefully to send her point home.  Trying to ignore that small part of her that wants to listen to him, to fuck each other like dogs in heat.

 

Spike groans and hits the ground with the power of the hit to his temple, it causing him to almost pass out from the pain shooting through his head.  Knowing if he wasn’t already dead, the blow would have probably killed him. 

 

Buffy stares angrily down at the vampire for a few seconds before spinning around and striding away.  Coming across a couple vampires a few blocks from where she’d left Spike, she let’s loose with everything in her.  When the two vampires are lying on the ground not moving and unrecognizable, Buffy pants heavily above them, blinking at the sight before finally dusting them.  Running a hand shakily through her hair, Buffy swallows hard as she finally starts to continue patrol. 

 

***

 

Buffy looks up the stairs to the apartment Tara is renting above an elderly couple’s garage.  Knowing it has to be almost two in the morning, she sighs as she steps back, looking up at the dark windows.  Shaking her head she spins around on her heel and starts to stride away.  Halfway down the block she glances over her shoulder for one more glance, deciding she’ll come by and talk to Tara in the morning even as she sees a light come on.  Unconsciously turning around and jogging towards Tara’s apartment, her feet carry her quickly up the steps, she finds herself in front of Tara’s door having already knocked without even being aware of it. 

 

***

 

Tara rolls over and looks at the clock, rubbing her eyes as she realizes its a few minutes after two.  Knowing she won’t be falling back to sleep anytime soon, she tosses the covers off her body, shivering slightly as the cool air of the room hits her warm body before sliding her feet into her slippers and pulling her robe on.  Flipping the light on as she makes her way across the open room to her kitchen area, she fills the kettle and sets it on the stove.  Turning it on, she pulls down a mug and grabs the tea canister, unconsciously jumping at the firm knock on her door.  Looking upwards, she quirks an eyebrow.  “Letting me know before hand?”  She whispers, wondering if this is why she woke up.  Pulling down another mug before she makes her way to the door, she isn’t that surprised to see Buffy standing on the small landing. 

 

Buffy smiles apologetically at the witch as she opens the door.  Sliding in as Tara waves her into the apartment, her eyes unconsciously drop down to the witch’s feet, smirking at the sight of the Tasmanian Devils’ toothy features showing beneath Tara’s robe. 

 

“I was just going to make myself some tea.  I know it’s not something you like, but I do have instant coffee, water and juice.  Make yourself comfortable.”  Tara steps back over to the stove as the kettle starts to whistle. 

 

Buffy shakes her head at the thought that Tara didn’t even blink at the fact she was banging on her apartment door at two in the morning.  Sliding her jacket off, she pulls out her weapons and sets them on the floor by the door, looking around Tara’s apartment having never seen it before.  She usually waited at the bottom of the stairs until Tara had let herself in before leaving.  Sighing quietly at the sparse furnishings, realizing though it was clean and functional, it was definitely a huge step down from her house. 

 

“Short of standing or the floor, you can pull up a milk crate, plop your butt on the counter or sit down on the bed.”  Tara smiles apologetically at the slayer.  “I’m not much of one for entertaining, and the times Dawnie comes over to stay, she usually crashes on the floor.  Did you want something?” 

 

“Coffee, if you don’t mind.”  Buffy finally answers, debating on where to settle, her eyes unconsciously going to the bed that Tara had obviously just exited a few minutes earlier, the pale lavender sheets and the dark purple comforter looking inviting and warm.

 

“Of course not.  Milk?”  Tara looks over her shoulder, smiling softly at the slayer as she nods.  “Go ahead, sweetie.  The bed’s the most comfortable spot.” 

 

Buffy blushes lightly but heads over to the bed.  Settling on the end, she leans down and unties her boots before pulling them off.  Standing she straightens the covers so she doesn’t get any vampire leftovers on Tara’s sheets before settling on top of the comforter with her back leaning against the headboard. 

 

Smiling at the slayer’s movements, Tara crosses the small room and hands the coffee mug to the slayer before carefully settling beside her on the bed, sipping at her tea as Buffy stares down into her mug. 

 

“You aren’t asking why I’m here.”  Buffy finally darts a quick glance at Tara before her eyes look back into the milky coffee. 

 

“I figure if you feel like talking, you will.  If not, we’ll sit quietly drinking our coffee and tea.”  Tara smiles internally as she realizes Buffy’s still expecting the third degree from her. 

 

Buffy relaxes at the Wiccan’s words as she finally starts to work on drinking her coffee.  “You don’t have a television.”

 

“Nope.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer.  “I’m hardly ever here, and when I am I’m studying… or sleeping.”

 

Buffy nods her understanding, knowing the Wiccan is working most afternoons and weekend mornings at a small grocery store around the corner.  “Your bracelet works.  It made Spike’s chip go off.”  Buffy finally whispers after finishing her coffee.  

 

Tara closes her eyes and sends a silent prayer of thanks to the Goddess, though she feels a burst of anger at the thought that Spike had obviously tried to force the issue again.  “Would you like some more, sweetie?”

 

“No, thank you.”  Buffy shakes her head, letting Tara take the mug as the witch eases out of the bed.  Watching as Tara walks over to the kitchen area and rinses the mugs out before turning the small light off in the kitchen. 

 

“Do you want to stay?”  Tara questions softly as she looks at the slayer who seems comfortable. 

 

“I…”  Buffy looks around the room again, really not in the mood to crash on the floor though she doesn’t want to leave and slowly shakes her head.

 

“It’s a queen size bed, sweetie.  It’s big enough for both of us.  You’re not very big, so you won’t take up much space.”  Tara smiles softly at the slayer, having seen her looking around her apartment, the slayer’s facial features easy to read.  “I have an over-sized t-shirt that you can wear to bed, if you want.  I also have a spare toothbrush.”  Watching the indecision fight with the desire to stay, Tara opens the dresser and pulls out the t-shirt.  Shutting that drawer, she opens the bottom one that she keeps her extra items in and pulls out a toothbrush.  Silently handing them to the slayer, she tilts her head towards the open bathroom door.

 

Buffy accepts the items, staring at them for a few minutes before finally climbing out of the bed and silently heads towards the bathroom.

 

“What side of the bed do you like to sleep on, Buffy?”  Tara calls out to the slayer as she straightens the bed and folds down the covers. 

 

“It doesn’t matter.”  Buffy finishes stripping off her clothes, leaving her panties on before pulling on Tara’s shirt, unconsciously inhaling deeply of the Wiccan’s scent. 

 

Tara sighs at the non-answer, leaving the side Buffy had been lying on for the slayer before taking off the robe and laying it back over the end of the bed.  Sliding her feet from her slippers, she climbs under the covers as she listens to the slayer brush her teeth. 

 

Buffy finishes with her nightly rituals before shutting the light off to the bathroom before stepping out and making her way to the bed.  Climbing in, she exhales softly as Tara turns the light off.  “Thank you, Tara.”

 

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”  Tara answers softly as she plumps her pillow.  “Sleep, Buffy.  Tomorrow’s a new day.”

 

Buffy feels her lip quirk slightly at the witch’s words before she turns over and buries her face in the pillow that smells like Tara.  The heat coming from the Wiccan’s body beside her comforting as she slowly falls asleep.

 

Tara listens to the slow even breathing of the slayer beside her, somewhat surprised at how quickly she’d fallen asleep, knowing that Buffy hadn’t been sleeping well since she had been brought back.  Shifting carefully in the bed until she can look at the slayer Tara smiles sadly at the woman that looks so young and innocent while asleep, but has the weight of the world literally on her shoulders while she’s awake.  Fighting the urge to brush the hair falling across Buffy’s face away, Tara sighs quietly before slowly falling asleep herself. 

 

***

 

Tara slowly wakens, smiling at the feel of a strong arm holding her captive around the waist and a body plastered against her back.  Letting her eyes lift to the clock, Tara realizes it’s almost seven in the morning.  Not having a class until ten, she continues to lie in the bed, her hand trailing down to stroke gently over the slayer’s forearm as she thinks about the woman behind her.  Smiling as she feels Buffy bury her face in her hair even as the arm wrapped around her waist tenses and pulls her even more firmly against the slayer’s body.  Knowing the moment Buffy becomes somewhat conscious as the slayer’s body stiffens.  Threading her fingers through Buffy’s as the slayer starts to pull her arm away, Tara whispers softly.  “You’re fine, sweetie.”

 

Buffy internally fights her conflicting thoughts and feelings.  Part of her saying that this is wrong, being plastered against her best friend’s ex-girlfriend in a way she didn’t even do with Riley.  Another part of her realizes she’s warm for the first time since being brought back and really doesn’t want to move from this spot.  Ignoring her mind that’s telling her this is wrong, Buffy slowly relaxes and buries her face back into Tara’s hair, inhaling deeply of the Wiccan’s scent.  “You’re warm.”  Buffy finally whispers a little while later.

 

“So are you, sweetie.”  Tara frowns at the slayer’s words.  “Are you normally cold?”

 

“Yes.”  Buffy wiggles her body impossibly closer to Tara. 

 

“Do you mind me questioning you?”  Tara barely speaks the words out loud.  Feeling Buffy shake her head in the negative, she squeezes the slayer’s hand firmly.  “Is it actually a physical cold, or more of an emotional cold?” 

 

Buffy furrows her brows and shifts her face to where she’s pressing it against Tara’s cloth covered shoulder.  “I…  I don’t know.”  Buffy finally whispers, just knowing she’s normally cold and right now she feels warm. 

 

Tara nibbles on her lip.  “I think, but I’m not sure, that it’s more of an emotional cold, sweetie.”

 

“Why?”  Buffy whispers a few moments later.

 

“It’s like your feelings are in a deep freeze, and we need to work on slowly bringing them up to room temperature gradually.  If all your feelings come back quickly, it might overload you, but I’m not sure if we can bring them back individually or when you start feeling, all of them will come crashing through.”  Tara sighs quietly.  “I’m not sure I’m making any sense, and I honestly don’t know if what I’m saying is right or not.”

 

Buffy unconsciously strokes her fingertips over Tara’s stomach as she considers the witch’s words for long minutes.  “I may not know you as well as I should, but normally when you say something, you’re right on the money, Tara.”  Buffy comments softly.  “How do you want to help me?” 

 

Tara swallows before taking a deep breath as she closes her eyes.  “By talking to you and being there for you whenever you need me.”

 

“You already mentioned that, Tara.”  Buffy rubs her nose over the witch’s shoulder.  “Is this the time for me to ask you what my possible other present is?”

 

Tara chuckles softly.  “Are you asking?”

 

“Is this the right time?”  Buffy questions back quickly. 

 

“I’m not so sure there is a right time for this possible solution.  Not that you’ll take me up on it, but…”  Tara takes a deep breath as she continues to run her fingers over Buffy’s arm, feeling the slayer’s body starting to tense behind her.  “Relax, sweetie.  I won’t ever force anything on you, or make you do anything you don’t want.”

 

“I know that, Tara.”  Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face at the thought of Tara forcing anyone to do anything.  Knowing the witch wouldn’t do that, or use magic on someone unless they specifically asked her to.  “I’m asking.”  Buffy finally whispers.

 

Tara exhales quietly at the slayer’s words.  “You’re disconnected from life.  You need someone to help you get back to yourself and to feel things.  Not just the cold, hard, angry world, but the warmth, touch, caring and love that is there.  To learn how to smile again at the sight of a rainbow, laugh at a joke, feel the warmth of a loving touch.”

 

Buffy blinks as Tara’s words soak into her mind.  “Tara?”  Buffy squeaks out the witch’s name as she wonders if what she’s thinking is what Tara’s saying.  “Are you offering what I think you are?  What about Willow?”

 

Tara winces at the squeak in Buffy’s voice when she said her name.  When the slayer questions her about what she’s offering and so quickly follows it up by asking about Willow, it makes a slow smile cross her lips at the realization that Buffy hadn’t thrown the suggestion out the window and might actually be considering it.  “Buffy, sweetie, Willow and I are broken up.”

 

“But, but…”  Buffy’s mouth keeps opening and shutting.  “Do you plan on getting back together with Willow?”

 

“Can I turn around?”  When Tara feels Buffy nod and shift back, she turns around and looks into shocked hazel eyes.  “I’m not planning on getting back together with Willow anytime soon, Buffy.  If ever.  She hurt me and I can’t forgive her for what she did yet.  And even when I forgive her, I’m not sure that I can ever trust her enough to put myself into that situation again.”  Tara explains softly, her eyes watching the differing emotions crossing Buffy’s face.  When Buffy finally just stares at her without saying anything, Tara sighs quietly.  “How about this, sweetie…  Have you ever heard about ‘friends with benefits’?”  Tara tries this route.

 

“Say, huh?”  Buffy blinks in surprised shock.  “Uh, yeah I’ve heard the saying.  I just never expected someone to offer me this option.  That is what you’re offering, right?”

 

Tara smiles softly at the slayer.  “More or less, except most people consider the friends with benefits option as just strictly sex with no attachments.  It wouldn’t just be sex between us… maybe it never will be sex, that depends on you and what you need, Buffy.”  Carefully and slowly Tara raises her hand and lightly runs her fingertips over the slayer’s eyebrow, watching as Buffy closes her eyes at the butterfly touch. 

 

Buffy shivers as Tara’s touch leaves tingles in its wake.  When Tara’s fingertip trails backwards over her eyebrow, it makes her giggle at the more ticklish touch. 

 

Tara smiles at Buffy’s reaction.  “You don’t need extremes to feel, Buffy.  A soft touch can bring as much, if not more pleasure than a hard and rough touch.”

 

“Ohhhh…”  Buffy moans quietly as Tara’s fingers trail through her hair and her fingernails gently scratch at her scalp.  “Feels good.”  Buffy whispers.

 

“I’m glad, sweetie.  Remember this when things seem to become cold and dark again.  Hopefully it’ll help you.  Now I hate to kick you out, but I’m going to need to get ready here soon for class, and you probably need to get home.  I’m sure Willow and Dawnie are worried about you.”  Tara watches as a partial pout crosses Buffy’s lips.  “I’m sorry, but I would like you to take time to think about my offer.  Any thoughts or questions you might have you can ask me whenever you’re ready.”

 

Buffy finally opens her eyes as Tara’s hand comes to rest gently on her cheek, Buffy searches warm blue eyes.  “What’s in this for you?”

 

“Helping you.”  Tara leans in and brushes her lips over Buffy’s forehead.  “Go ahead and shower and get ready, if you want.  I’m going to fix something quick for breakfast before I get ready.  Is eggs, sausage links and toast okay with you?”  Tara questions softly as she eases from the bed, reaching for her robe. 

 

Buffy unconsciously lets her eyes trail over the voluptuous form of the witch, the soft feminine curves warm and inviting.  Blinking at the thoughts floating through her mind, Buffy feels her cheeks heat up.  “You don’t have to cook for me.”

 

“I know I don’t have to, sweetie.”  Tara looks up, a quick smile crossing her lips as she ties her robe.  Slipping her feet into her slippers, she makes her way to the kitchen.  “Speak now, or that’s what you’re going to get.”

 

“That would be wonderful.”  Buffy shakes her head as a smile crosses her lips as she watches Tara start to pull the items out of the refrigerator.  Rolling out of bed, she starts to make it, stopping with Tara’s words. 

 

“Don’t worry about the bed, Buffy.  It’s not that big a deal to leave it unmade.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer.  “I don’t have anyone to impress.” 

 

Buffy shakes her head as Tara wiggles her eyebrows at her.  “I’ll go take a quick shower.  And Tara?”  Buffy watches as Tara looks back at her from where she had turned her gaze back to the food she was putting in the skillets.  “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”  Tara smiles softly at the slayer, watching as Buffy strides towards the bathroom, the door shutting softly behind her.  “Oh, Buffy, you deserve the best this world has to offer.  Unfortunately you seem to get some of the worst.”  Tara sighs quietly at the thought before going back to preparing breakfast for the slayer.

 

***

 

Buffy leans against the door as she hears Tara’s words.  Rubbing a hand over her eyes, Buffy fights the tears gathering in her eyes.  “Your offer is one of the good offers, Tara.  Now the question is do I have the guts to take you up on it.”  Deciding for now to get her butt in gear and get cleaned up, knowing she has all day to think about Tara and her offer.

 

***

 

Chapter 3

 

Tara smiles as she finishes ringing up the items and placing them in the bag.  “That’ll be $35.96.”  Tara accepts the $40 she’s handed and gets change.  “Have a wonderful day.”  Tara grabs the spray bottle and rag, wiping down the counter while no one’s in the store, looking up when the bell rings she chuckles at the sight of the slayer darting her a quick glance.  “Hey, sweetie.”

 

Buffy looks around the empty store before sighing in relief and heading towards Tara.  “Here by yourself?”  Buffy questions softly, her brows furrowed.

 

“The owners went to dinner.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer.  “Have an unnatural urge for a Butterfinger, Three Musketeers or a Snickers bar?”  Tara points to the candy bars Buffy’s playing with. 

 

“No.”  Buffy blushes and puts the bars back.  “I was just wondering if maybe you would go on patrol with me tonight.” 

 

“Of course I’ll go with you.”  Tara leans against the counter as she looks at the slayer.  “Are you okay?”

 

Buffy shrugs and looks up at the witch.  “I went home this morning after leaving your apartment, ran the vacuum cleaner and did the laundry.  And for the first time since I came back, I didn’t once think about waking up in my coffin.”  Buffy searches Tara’s warm blue eyes, feeling a streak of guilt at the sadness replacing the warmth.  “I wanted to thank you not make you sad, Tara.  It’s a good thing.”  Buffy explains softly, reaching out to barely touch Tara’s hand. 

 

Tara exhales softly and nods her head, smiling softly at Buffy.  “Okay.  Would you like me to meet you at your house, or where?”

 

“I’d rather you not be out after dark without me there, so I’ll pick you up at your apartment, if that’s okay?”  Buffy offers, relaxing as Tara grins crookedly at her. 

 

“You do realize that I occasionally am out after dark, don’t you?”  Tara chuckles as Buffy narrows her gaze on her.  “I mean, it was dark when I came to your birthday party… a lot of times I’m here after the sun goes down…” 

 

“Don’t!”  Buffy shakes her head, covering her ears.  “Don’t wanna hear it, if I hear it I’ll worry and then I’ll stalk you to make sure you get everywhere okay.”

 

Tara laughs softly and reaches over to gently pull Buffy’s hands away from her ears.  “Honey, unless there’s three or more vampires, or a major demon I can take care of myself.  If not, I can throw a couple spells at them and get away, if there’s more.”

 

“Well, I don’t know that for a fact and there’s always something that can sneak in on you to screw things up.  I was stabbed with my own stake by a newly risen vampire a year or so ago.”  Buffy points out seriously.  “So, unless you can walk around with a protective bubble around you that nothing and no one can penetrate…”

 

Tara chuckles, biting her lip as she fights the laughter wanting to escape.  “But what happens if I want someone to penetrate this protective bubble?  I’d be in a world of hurt then, wouldn’t I?” 

 

Buffy growls softly at the laughing witch.  “You know what I mean.”  Buffy reaches out to pat Tara’s hand.  “What time do you get off work tonight?”

 

“In about another half hour when the bosses get back.”  Tara reaches across the counter and grabs one of the Butterfingers, handing it to Buffy.  “Something sweet for you, sweetie.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer.  “I’m going to throw together some burritos for dinner tonight, maybe if you show up in forty-five minutes to an hour you’d like to join me?”

 

“Is there anything I can bring?”  Buffy accepts the Butterfinger, smiling down at the candy bar. 

 

Tara reaches over to gently run her fingers along the side of Buffy’s mouth and the small smile.  “Yourself and that smile is what I’d like you to bring.  I’ll see you in a little while, sweetie.  Enjoy the candy bar.”  Tara winks at Buffy as she shifts back, the bell above the door ringing as a customer comes in. 

 

Buffy looks back up at Tara, searching warm blue eyes.  “I’ll see you in a little while.”  Buffy waves the candy bar at Tara before she turns around and strides out of the store, another smile crossing her lips as she tears open the wrapper and takes a bite, moaning softly at the sweet crunchiness.  “Crunchy, peanut butter-y, chocolate-y goodness.  You can’t go wrong.”  Buffy picks up the pace as she continues to eat the candy bar on the way home.

 

Tara chuckles softly as she watches Buffy already ripping into the candy bar as she walks by the windows.  Turning back to one of the regular customers, she smiles a hello.

 

***

 

“Dawn, I picked up some chicken for you and Willow.”  Buffy calls out to her sister as she enters the house, taking the chicken and side dishes into the kitchen and setting them on the island.

 

“Aren’t you eating?”  Willow follows Buffy into the kitchen and looks at the food, the chicken smelling delicious.  “Extra crispy?”

 

“Of course.  Dawn won’t touch it, unless it’s got enough batter and grease in it to clog up a Tyrannosaurus Rex’s arteries.”  Buffy rolls her eyes at the thought.

 

“The crunchies are the best.”  Willow admits, sending a quick smile at Buffy.

 

“I need to get ready for patrol.”  Buffy sidesteps Willow’s question about her eating as she strides out of the kitchen, passing Dawn on the stairs.  “I also picked up one of those small cheesecakes, try and leave me a piece, okay?”

 

“You aren’t eating with us?”  Dawn stops and watches Buffy continue a couple more steps up the stairs before turning to look at her.

 

“Not tonight.  I need to do a thorough patrol, so I’ll probably be late.  I figure it’ll be a three in the morning snack.”  Buffy shrugs.  “Try and get to bed early, you have school tomorrow.”

 

“Okay.”  Dawn pouts as Buffy turns and jogs up the stairs.  Heading into the kitchen, she smiles at Willow. 

 

“No Buffy tonight, huh?”  Willow places a plate and fork on the island for Dawn as she starts to dish out food.  “Want to watch that special on the Discovery channel?”

 

“Is tonight the night about the dolphins?”  Dawn’s eyes light up as Willow nods.  “I missed it last month when it was on.”

 

“Well then, sounds like we have a plan.  Popcorn and dolphins.”  Willow smiles at the teen as they finish filling their plates. 

 

***

 

Tara chuckles when she hears the firm knock on her door.  “If it’s a certain slayer I know, come in.  If not, go away I gave at the office.”

 

Buffy rolls her eyes before opening the door and stepping into Tara’s apartment.  “I guess that’s one way around the whole invite, huh?”

 

Tara smirks as she looks at the slayer before turning back to the meat mixture.  “Do you like spicy foods, sweetie?”

 

“The spicier the better.”  Buffy admits, pulling off her jacket and weapons to set by the door before stepping over to watch Tara curiously. 

 

“Hungry?”  Tara darts Buffy a glance as Buffy nods her head.  “Here.” 

 

Buffy looks at the bowl of salsa, raising an eyebrow as she’s about to ask Tara if she was supposed to eat it with her fingers when Tara opens the oven and pulls out a container of warmed tortilla chips.  “Hmm… I’m rating for some reason.” 

 

“Hope you like it.  Isn’t quite homemade, but the closest I can come to in a short period of time.”  Tara grabs one of the chips and scoops some of the salsa on it and pops it into her mouth before winking at the slayer. 

 

“You made the salsa?”  Buffy looks curiously at the bowl of salsa.  Having to admit that it looks different than the stuff she usually gets out of the jar.  Taking one of the warm chips she dips a small amount on the chip and takes a bite, moaning quietly.  “This is sooo much better than the crap out of a jar.”

 

“Next time I’ll spice it up more.  I wasn’t sure how spicy you like your food.”  Tara stirs the meat mixture.  “This’ll be ready in about another ten minutes.” 

 

Buffy grunts quietly as she starts to munch happily on the chips and salsa.  Unconsciously growling softly as Tara dips into the bowl she’s keeping hold of. 

 

“You growl at me, you better be prepared to bite.”  Tara warns, snapping her teeth at the slayer.

 

Buffy’s eyes dart up in surprise at the witch, before blushing lightly.  “Sorry.  Wasn’t even aware of growling.”

 

“Like a dog with its favorite bone.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer.  “You have heard the saying to not come between a dog and its food…”

 

“Great, now I’m a dog.”  Buffy grumbles, before a small smile crosses her face.  “Be careful or I might start marking my territory…”  Buffy starts to hike a leg. 

 

Tara snorts and smacks the leg.  “You’re not a boy dog.  You have to squat.”

 

“I’m multi-talented.”  Buffy argues, chuckling as Tara rolls her eyes at her. 

 

“End up peeing all over yourself doing it that way.”  Tara turns around to the refrigerator and pulls out the toppings she’d previously chopped, setting them on the small counter.  “Onions, lettuce, tomatoes, black olives, cheese, sour cream and a little of the salsa?”

 

“Okay.  Is there anything I can do?”  Buffy watches as Tara uncovers the containers. 

 

“If you want to get something to drink out of the refrigerator, you can.”  Tara pulls the tortillas she has warming in the oven out and quickly starts putting together a burrito for Buffy. 

 

“What do you want?”  Buffy sets the bowl down after scooping some more on another chip and popping it in her mouth. 

 

“Soda, thank you.”  Tara folds the burrito over and puts a fork on the plate.  “Use the fork, my burritos aren’t really good for picking up to eat.”  Tara shrugs at the thought as she works on putting a burrito together for herself. 

 

“The messier the better.”  Buffy looks around before moving out to the ‘living room’ and sets her drink down on the floor before going back in to grab her plate and Tara’s drink.  “Dining on the milk crates tonight?”

 

“Oh, yes.  I brought out the good chairs.”  Tara winks at the slayer.  “Feel privileged.”

 

“I do.”  Buffy settles on her crate and cuts into her burrito as Tara sits on the floor and leans against the wall. 

 

Tara smiles softly as she watches Buffy groan quietly as she takes a bite of the burrito before she quickly cuts another piece.  Chuckling as guilty hazel eyes dart up after Buffy had already worked three quarters of the way through her burrito. 

 

“Manners are a good thing.”  Buffy winces as she realizes she’d pretty much just plowed through her burrito without a word to Tara.  “This is very, very good.”

 

“I’ll fix you another one, Buffy.”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer.

 

“After you eat.”  Buffy relaxes and cuts a smaller bite of her burrito, taking her time as she watches Tara finally cut into hers and start eating.  “This friends with benefits thing… if I want it to be just more or less what’s happened so far, that’ll be all it is, right?”

 

Tara finishes the bite of burrito in her mouth as she slowly nods.  “Yes, sweetie.  Only as much as you want.  If you just need a hug, that’s what I’ll give you.”

 

Buffy nibbles her lip as she looks into warm blue eyes watching her.  “And if I decide I want more?” 

 

“Whatever you want.”  Tara blinks as Buffy nods and looks down at her plate, silently wondering if the slayer is looking for a more intimate relationship with her, or if she’s just wanting to spend as much time as she can with her and slowly start reconnecting with the living. 

 

Buffy thinks heavily as she slowly finishes eating her burrito.  Understanding on one level that Tara just wants to help her, but wishing there was something she could do for the witch as a thank you.  Knowing ultimately what the witch is trying to do with the soft touches and even the candy bar earlier.  Helping her realize that there are good things out there, things that can make you happy and they don’t have to be on a large scale. 

 

“Let me make you another one, sweetie.”  Tara stands up and holds out her hand for the slayer’s plate. 

 

“Thank you.”  Buffy looks up at Tara, searching her face and eyes for a clue as to what the witch would want.  Finally raising the plate and handing it to Tara, Buffy sighs softly.  “Is there something that I can do, Tara?”

 

Tara takes the plate and makes her way into the kitchen to make another burrito for the slayer.  “In what way are you asking, sweetie?”

 

“Any way that you need.”  Buffy watches as Tara puts together another burrito. 

 

Tara shakes her head as she folds the burrito and steps over to the slayer, handing her the plate.  Running her fingers gently over Buffy’s head, she smiles as she leans into the caress.  “I want you to take care of yourself, sweetie.  That is something you can do for me.”  Tara leans down and presses a soft kiss to the top of the slayer’s head.  “Eat your burrito.”

 

Buffy sighs quietly at Tara’s answer, somehow knowing that the witch won’t ask for anything for herself.  Turning her attention to the burrito, Buffy realizes Tara stuffed this one even more with filling to where it’s falling out.  Her lips quirk up at the sight even as she listens to Tara humming softly as she puts away the food an occasional crunch coming from the witch as she obviously works on eating what’s left of the tortilla chips and salsa. 

 

Tara finishes putting away what’s left of the food, tucking everything away in the refrigerator.  Wiping down the counters, she runs the dishwater in the sink and sets the dirty dishes in the water.  Swallowing as she feels a warm hand hesitantly press against her lower back, she tilts her head to look at the slayer standing beside her. 

 

“Let me do the dishes, Tara.  Thank you for dinner, it was wonderful.”  Buffy unconsciously rubs the palm of her hand over Tara’s back.

 

Tara fights the moan working its way through her at the warm, gentle touch of the slayer.  “If you’re sure?”  Tara bites her bottom lip as she watches Buffy nod her head.  “I’ll get ready for patrol, then.”  Tara reaches up to run a knuckle gently down Buffy’s cheek, smiling as the slayer’s eyes close automatically as she presses into the barely there caress.  The slayer obviously wanting and needing human touch, Tara silently prays to the Goddess that it will help.

 

***

 

Chapter 4

 

“How are things going with Dawnie?”  Tara questions softly as they slowly make their way around Sunnydale.

 

Buffy shrugs and glances quickly at Tara before turning her gaze back on the surrounding area.  “She seems okay most of the time.  After the scare of the social worker taking her away for truancy, she’s kind of straightened her act up.”

 

“That’s good.  I know the couple times she’s spent an hour or so with me that she actually had her books out and was studying.”  Tara grins crookedly at the thought.  “I wish I could be there for her more often, but…”  Tara shrugs at the thought, knowing she has to work to pay for the apartment, even though it doesn’t cost much, but between the apartment, electricity, clothes, necessities and food it does add up.

 

“You’re there for her when she needs you.”  Buffy looks around as she feels the hairs on the back of her neck stand up but doesn’t see anything.  “You’re actually there for all of us.”  Buffy admits looking seriously at Tara.  “Thank you.”

 

Gently brushing a knuckle across Buffy’s cheek, Tara smiles sadly.  “I want to be there for you more often, sweetie.  You and Dawnie both need someone to talk to.”

 

Buffy reaches up to adjust Tara’s hand to press flatly against her cheek as she leans into the warmth.  “You’re her anchor, Tara.  You’re the one constant in her life, and it threw her for a bad spin when you and Willow broke up.”  Buffy shakes her head and gently presses a finger against Tara’s lips as the witch was about to say something.  “I don’t think it was so much the break-up but the fact that you moved out, and she was ultimately afraid that you were leaving altogether.  I actually overheard her arguing with Willow that it wasn’t fair that you had to move out, just because they were broken up.”  Buffy feels a small smile cross her face at the stuttered, hyperventilating redhead’s inability to say anything back to Dawn, especially when Dawn had flat out questioned her as to the reason why Tara had moved out.  Dawn had been more than irate with Willow when she wouldn’t explain what had caused the two women to break up.  Buffy’s small smile turns into a frown as she remembers Willow not answering Dawn’s question if Willow had done something to make Tara break up with her and leave.  As a matter of fact she remembers Willow running up to her room and locking the door after that question. 

 

Tara quirks an eyebrow as she watches the differing emotions cross Buffy’s face even as the slayer leaves her finger pressing against her lips to keep her silent.  Wondering if the slayer even realizes she still has her finger pressed there, since she seems lost in her own thoughts.  When Buffy frowns even harder, Tara growls softly and opens her lips to nip on the tip of the slayer’s finger, grinning crookedly as Buffy jerks and glares at her in response.  “You got lost there for a while, so I thought I’d bring you back.”

 

Buffy looks at the tip of her finger before holding it up in front of Tara.  “You bit me.”

 

“I didn’t bite you, I did a little nip.  A playful get attention type nip.”  Tara grasps the slayer’s wrist gently and pulls the injured finger to her lips and presses a soft kiss to the end.  “There all better.”  Tara chuckles at the surprised look crossing Buffy’s face as she releases her hand. 

 

Buff turns her hand and looks at the tip of her finger and furrows her brows in consideration before she looks at Tara.  “What if it still hurts?”  Buffy turns it around and places it in front of Tara’s lips again, her eyes intent on the full lips curling up in a crooked grin, a whimper escaping her throat as Tara’s pink tongue comes out to swirl quickly and teasingly around the tip of her finger before disappearing again. 

 

Tara snorts at the whimper she hears coming from Buffy.  “We’re supposed to be patrolling, not playing.”

 

“I like to combine the two.”  Buffy blinks then blushes at her comment when Tara laughs.  “Okay, patrol.”  Buffy rubs a hand over her face in embarrassment as the two women start to work their way around Sunnydale again.  “Have you always been this… forward?”  Buffy finally questions a little while later.

 

“Forward?”  Tara tilts her head and chuckles softly.  “I wouldn’t consider myself forward.  Occasionally flirty, with someone I know well I can be downright mischievous, and…”  Tara hesitates for a moment before grinning crookedly at the slayer as she stares at her intently.  “Adventurous.”

 

“Adventurous?”  Buffy looks at the witch questioningly, allowing her eyes to slowly take in the woman’s features.  “I always thought of you as more shy, sweet, quiet and…” 

 

“Lacking in imagination?”  Tara quirks an eyebrow as she smirks at the slayer.

 

“No.”  Buffy growls as she waves a hand around.  “I guess I should say I never really thought of you in more than a ‘friend’ way, Tara.  I definitely never thought of you sexually before.” 

 

“Before?”  Tara latches onto that word, watching as a dark blush slowly works its way over the slayer’s face and neck.  “Have you been thinking about taking me up on my offer… the complete no holds barred offer?”

 

Buffy tucks her hands in her jeans and looks down at the ground for a few moments, before answering Tara.  “It’s crossed my mind a couple times.”  Buffy slowly lifts her head as Tara caresses her hand over her cheek, urging it upwards.  “I’m not sure how far or how quickly, but…”  Buffy shrugs.  “Maybe for now, just the touches and hugs?”

 

“Whatever you want, sweetie.  Just let me know if you want or need more, okay?”  Tara smiles softly at the slayer. 

 

“I’ll try.”  Buffy sighs as she relaxes as she looks into warm blue eyes.  “We should finish patrol.  I want to spend some time curled up with you tonight, if that’s okay?”

 

“Of course it is, sweetie.  Any time day or night you want to stop by you can.”  Tara offers, digging out her keys where she’d had an extra copy made.  Working it off her key ring, she hands it to the slayer.  “Let yourself in, sweetie.  Even if I’m not home, you can come by if you want.  Anything I have food wise you’re welcome to, also.”

 

Buffy accepts the key and stares down at it for a few moments in surprise at the blanket invitation Tara had just given her.  “I…”  Buffy blinks and nibbles on her bottom lip as she rubs her thumb over the warm metal that had been in Tara’s pocket.  “Thank you.”  Buffy finally decides on, knowing Tara would get upset if she didn’t accept it. 

 

“You’re welcome.”  Tara leans forward and brushes a kiss over the top of the slayer’s head as Buffy continues to look down.  “Come on, Slayer.  You need to kill some evil things tonight.”

 

“Yes, kill evil things.  Lots and lots of evil things.”  Buffy tucks the key away in her pocket and smiles slowly at Tara.  Tugging on the woman’s shirt, she urges Tara towards the next cemetery, unaware of the little extra bounce in her step.

 

Tara feels her chest expand with warmth at the almost full smile crossing Buffy’s lips and as the slayer shows a serious spark of interest and life at the thought of finishing patrol, it makes her smile in response.  ‘It’ll take time, sweetie, but you’ll get there.  I promise.’  Tara silently thinks as they turn into the cemetery and Buffy growls softly, hurrying her along as a vampire is already climbing out of a grave.

 

***

 

Tara smiles as she comes out of the bathroom with her tank top and shorts on, Buffy having already put on the oversized t-shirt she’d worn previously.  Somewhat surprised the slayer was getting that comfortable, instead of staying in her jeans and regular top.  Sliding into the bed and propping herself up against the headboard, Tara lifts her arm and smiles as Buffy maneuvers around and lies with her head in her lap and her body pressed closely against her legs. 

 

Buffy pulls up the covers to cover herself and Tara’s lower legs before resting her hand on the Wiccan’s silky soft thigh, the warmth and softness comforting. 

 

“Would you prefer me to slide all the way down, sweetie?”  Tara comments softly, running her fingers gently through Buffy’s hair, watching as the slayer shrugs her shoulders.  “It’ll give you more of me to curl up against.”

 

“’Kay.”  Buffy finally answers and shifts back giving Tara room to slide down in the bed.  Settling against Tara, Buffy smiles as the witch pulls her firmly against her side, urging her to rest her head on her upper chest as her fingers go back to caressing through her hair.  Wiggling her body closer against Tara’s, Buffy finally throws her leg over Tara’s thighs and slides her arm around Tara’s waist, her fingers playing over the warm flesh of Tara’s side. 

 

“Should I set the alarm just in case?”  Tara questions a little while later as the lateness of the hour and laying there in contentment with the slayer makes her more relaxed almost to the point of falling asleep. 

 

Buffy’s eyes drag open and focus in on the clock.  “Better.  Give me another hour?”

 

“As long as you want, sweetie.”  Tara reaches over with her free hand and carefully maneuvers the clock, resetting the time before dropping her hand down to the bed and rubbing it gently over the slayer’s forearm. 

 

Buffy lies there quietly, the warmth and calmness seeming to seep right into her soul as Tara gently continues to stroke over her arm and head.  Closing her heavy eyes, Buffy sighs softly, gently squeezing Tara’s waist.

 

Shifting to press a soft kiss to the top of Buffy’s head, Tara stares up at the ceiling silently thinking about the small woman curled up against her, frankly somewhat surprised that Buffy was allowing her this closeness and was obviously even considering a heavier degree of closeness.  Deciding to let whatever happens, happen, Tara closes her eyes and drifts into a light doze.

 

***

 

“Shh.  Go back to sleep.”  Buffy finally sighs heavily as she shifts away from the warm body of the witch.  Tara’s mumbles and arms tightening around her makes her smile. 

 

“Hit snooze for ten more minutes, Buffy.”  Tara mumbles half asleep as she tries to follow Buffy.

 

“I need to go home, Tara.  I’m sorry.”  Buffy hesitantly reaches up and runs her fingers through Tara’s soft hair.  “Do I need to reset the alarm clock for you?”

 

Tara grumbles even as she tries to burrow against Buffy.  “Nine.  Got a class at ten thirty.”  Reluctantly releasing the slayer, Tara rolls over onto her back and reaches for the clock.

 

“I think I can see it a little better than you can.”  Buffy has to laugh quietly as one of Tara’s eyelids finally lifts halfheartedly to glare at her.  Reaching over Tara, she grunts in surprise as she finds herself pulled down firmly on top of Tara.

 

“Now you’re staying.”  Tara growls, her eyes already drifting closed as a soft snore escapes her lips. 

 

Buffy’s fingers dig into the bedding beside Tara as she finds her body pressed intimately against the witch’s.  Coming to the conclusion that the witch had obviously not completely woken up and pretty much was asleep through everything that just happened.  “Oh, Tara.  You would probably be very, very embarrassed at your actions if you were aware of them.”  Buffy shifts her body up to rest on one hand as she looks down into the peaceful countenance of the blonde.  Slowly trailing her fingertips over the woman’s eyebrows and slowly down her cheeks to play over the full lips before dipping into the slight cleft she’d never really noticed before.  Sighing quietly, Buffy wonders what it would be like to feel those full lips caressing teasingly over hers.  Closing her eyes, Buffy takes a deep, calming breath before leaning down to press her lips softly over the cleft in Tara’s chin before reaching up and quickly setting the alarm clock. 

 

Gently maneuvering Tara’s arms from around her, Buffy places the extra pillow in Tara’s grasping arms and makes sure the witch is covered before stripping off Tara’s shirt and folding it neatly, placing it on the end of the bed before quickly getting dressed, her eyes watching Tara the whole time.

 

Kneeling on the bed again, Buffy hesitates for a moment before leaning in to press her lips firmly to Tara’s forehead, closing her eyes at the warmth seeping into her from the witch.  “I’ll catch up to you tomorrow, Tara.”  Buffy promises softly before easing off the bed and striding through the small apartment, unlocking the deadbolt before quietly shutting the door behind her and locking it back with her key. 

 

Jogging down the stairs, she strides quickly towards home, her senses alert even as a small smile plays around her lips at the thought of the sweet woman she’d left asleep clutching tightly onto a pillow.  “I don’t know what we did right in our lives, Tara.  But you coming to Sunnydale is something I think the PTB actually got right for a change.” 

 

***

 

Chapter 5

 

Buffy scratches at the back of her neck, shivering uncontrollably as she can swear she feels the grease gathering under her fingernails as she hurries towards home.  Turning the corner, her eyes glance into the small corner market, slowing down as she sees a familiar blonde head stocking the shelves.  Hesitating for a moment, she pushes open the door and steps in, smiling at the owner before making her way towards Tara.  “How late are you working tonight?”  Buffy questions softly, smiling as Tara grins crookedly up at her from where she’s kneeling on the floor. 

 

“Hey, sweetie.”  Tara blinks and thinks for a moment.  “Until seven unless they need me to stick around and close the store.”

 

“I was wondering if you might want to come over to the house for dinner.  It’s pizza and movie night.”  Buffy questions as she shifts somewhat uncomfortably as she looks down at the floor.  “Dawn would love for you to come over since she hasn’t been able to see you this week.” 

 

Tara pushes up and stands, tucking some loose hair behind her ear as she looks at Buffy.  “I’ve been working every night this week after classes.”  Tara explains at Buffy’s questioning look with her comment about Dawn not being able to see her.  Tara furrows her brows as she thinks about going to Buffy’s.  Not having a problem with visiting the slayer at her house, or even being there for Dawn, but things were still somewhat strained between her and Willow.  Sighing quietly, Tara finally nods after a few moments.  “On one condition.”

 

Buffy nods eagerly as she looks at the witch, having been stopping by at her apartment every couple days for the last two weeks, just spending a few hours here and there with Tara before going home.  Becoming more comfortable and relaxed, and true to her word, Tara hadn’t pushed for more and was there for her.  The softness of Tara’s body against hers becoming second nature, and honestly having to stop herself from visiting her every night. 

 

Tara chuckles at the happiness sparkling in Buffy’s eyes.  The slayer not near as serious and uncaring as she had been originally.  Though she does have a tendency to become lost upon occasion, having found out that’s when she was usually thinking about being in Heaven.  “You let me buy the pizzas.”

 

Buffy starts to open her mouth to argue when Tara’s fingers press gently against her lips.  As Tara smiles softly at her and just shakes her head, Buffy growls lowly but nods her agreement.

 

“I’ll pick up the pizzas on my way to your house, then.”  Tara chuckles at the small pout that crosses Buffy’s bottom lip, fighting the urge to lean down and capture the flesh between her lips and suckle on it.  “Go home and get rid of a couple layer’s of grease, sweetie.  I’ll see you in a few hours.”

 

“Okay…”  Buffy backs towards the door watching Tara.  “Any movie preferences?”

 

Tara grins mischievously at the slayer.  “Don’t tempt me, slayer.  I’ve been wanting to see Serving In Silence…”

 

Buffy furrows her brows at the witch, never having heard of the movie, but making a mental note to look for it at the rental place to see if they have it.  When Tara laughs at her, Buffy rolls her eyes having a feeling it isn’t something she would probably normally rent.  “Call if you have to stay late and I’ll come by to walk with you.”

 

“Yes, ma’am.”  Tara watches as Buffy finally steps out of the store and strides away.  The soft smile pointed at her before Buffy had stepped out of the store making her heart thump hard in her chest.  Though their time together hasn’t really evolved into anything yet, Buffy always seems to search out skin, whether it’s just rubbing her leg up and down hers, or a hand wiggling its way under her top to stroke over her stomach and side.  But the frequency and ease with which the slayer now curls up against her and plasters her body against hers while pushing up her top to make the flesh of her stomach available to her small hand’s stroking making her wonder if Buffy was working her way into something more, or if she was just happy with the way things were now.

 

Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she smiles apologetically at her boss who just laughs at her.  Kneeling back beside the box, she works on placing the rest of the soups on the shelf.

 

***

 

Buffy feels the heat of her blush work over her face as the female clerk at the video store gave her an admiring glance before telling her that she could find the movie in the Gay and Lesbian section of the store.  Turning to stride towards the section Buffy growls softly.  “I am so going to kick her ass.  But then again, she probably didn’t think I’d actually look for the movie, either.”  Buffy searches through the ‘S’ section of the movies and sees it right away.  “Hmm… Glenn Close is in it?  I like her.”  Buffy furrows her brows as she flips the empty case to read the excerpt on the back while holding the movie in her other hand. 

 

“Actually sounds pretty good.”  Buffy admits quietly as she looks at the front of the case again before putting the empty case back on the shelf and keeping the movie in her hand as her eyes unconsciously looks at the other movies in this section.  Picking up the occasional movie and reading the back, Buffy sighs quietly at the fact that a couple of the other movies actually sound pretty good, but remembering Dawn is going to be home for movie night, picking only these movies isn’t a really bright idea. 

 

Heading over towards the family section to see if the new Disney film Dawn wants to see is out, Buffy smiles at the thought of Tara probably being surprised and embarrassed at her picking up the movie.  Of course, that means they’ll probably have to watch it after Dawn goes to bed, but not worried about it as she grabs the movie Dawn wants before looking for some action movie to round things out somewhat.

 

***

 

Tara climbs the steps to Buffy’s house, carrying the two large pizzas and the order of hot wings, remembering the slayer once saying she loved the things, even if she did have to add more hot sauce to the puny ones that the pizza place made.  Maneuvering the food, she knocks on the door before quickly moving the hand back to the food to make sure she doesn’t drop it.

 

Buffy trots towards the door, opening it and quickly taking the pizzas from Tara.  “Smells good.”  Buffy looks into smiling blue eyes, noting the crooked grin on Tara’s face. 

 

“I picked you up some wings, too.  Hopefully you have some hot sauce here to jazz them up a bit.”  Tara sets her purse down by the end table before following Buffy towards the kitchen.

 

“DAWN, WILLOW !  Pizza’s here!”  Buffy calls out loudly as she sets the pizzas on the island beside the paper plates, glasses and napkins.  Grabbing the smaller box with wings in it, she flips it open quickly and folds back the aluminum foil.  “Are you going to want any before I put some additional sauce on them?”

 

“Go ahead, sweetie.”  Tara reaches into the refrigerator pulling out the drinks and setting them on the island as Buffy sneaks a hand in quickly and grabs the hot sauce out. 

 

“What kind did you get?”  Dawn questions as she bounces into the kitchen, half hugging Tara with one arm while reaching for the pizza boxes with the other one.

 

“One with everything, another one is half carnivore and half pepperoni and mushroom.”  Tara laughs as Buffy snatches a couple slices of the carnivore and throws them on the plate, the slayer the only one that usually eats the all meat pizza unless Xander was there. 

 

“Goody.”  Dawn grabs a piece of the pepperoni and mushroom pizza before grabbing her soda.  “Living room?”

 

“Go ahead.  Your movie’s already in the DVD player ready to go.”  Buffy nods her head as she finishes pouring the sauce over the wings even while she’s taking a bite out of her pizza.

 

Willow hurries into the kitchen, smiling shyly at Tara.  “Hi.”

 

“Hi, Willow.”  Tara reaches for the pizza with everything on it and slides two pieces on her plate before topping off her glass.  “Anyone else want Coke?”  Tara holds up the two liter and at Willow and Buffy’s nods, she quickly fills the two glasses, waiting for the fizz to settle before finishing filling them.  “What movies did you get, sweetie?”  Tara questions curiously looking at Buffy and missing the quick look Willow sends her.

 

Willow blinks in surprise at Tara calling Buffy sweetie.  Admittedly, the witch does call a lot of people sweetie, but she’d never noticed her calling Buffy that before. 

 

Buffy grins at Tara.  “An action flick, something you’ll probably like and one of those Disney movies that Dawn always wants to watch.”  Buffy laughs as Tara narrows her eyes on her before darting out of the room.

 

Willow shakes her head at the laughter coming from Buffy, the sound foreign to the usually quiet and morose slayer.  Though now thinking about it, she realizes Buffy’s been a little more relaxed lately and was smiling more frequently.  But the outright laughter something she hasn’t heard since before Buffy died.  Turning a curious look on Tara as the blonde grabs her plate and shrugs at her before following Buffy into the living room.  “Odd.”  Willow places a piece of pizza on her plate and grabs her drink with a couple napkins before heading towards the living room, Dawn was sprawled out on the floor with the previews already playing on the television while Tara sat in a corner of the couch with Buffy nowhere to be seen, but her plate sitting haphazardly on the coffee table along with her glass of soda. 

 

Buffy trots back down the stairs after using the bathroom, furrowing her brows slightly as she notices Willow settling onto the couch at the opposite end from Tara, though not in the corner, closer to the middle of the couch.  Without really thinking about it, she settles between the two women, close to Tara before leaning forward and grabbing her pizza, propping her feet on the coffee table as she takes a huge bite from the slice.

 

Tara chuckles softly as she looks down at the slayer’s leg that had more or less come to rest against her thigh as the slayer wiggled her legs while watching the previews and eating her pizza.  “Not another animal movie?”  Tara groans quietly as she looks at the main menu to the movie.

 

“Yep.”  Dawn pops her head up and grins unabashedly at the witch over the coffee table.  “Bet you it’ll be better than the movie Buffy picked out!” 

 

“Hey!  My movie is going to kick ass, I’ll have you know!”  Buffy growls as she points a chicken wing at her sister before biting into the meat. 

 

“Suck ass is probably more of the case.”  Tara snorts at the loud growl she gets from the slayer as she glares at her. 

 

“Be nice, or you won’t get to see what I picked up for you.”  Buffy warns quietly before snatching the half eaten piece of pizza off Tara’s plate and taking a huge bite out of it and placing back on her plate, grinning as she chews. 

 

Tara looks from her pizza to the grinning slayer at what Buffy had just done.  “Are you trying to piss me off?  Don’t you know not to steal a witch’s food?”  Tara snatches one of the wings off Buffy’s plate, smirking as she eats it as Buffy stares at her in shock. 

 

“But, but… that was mine.”  Buffy’s eyes narrow as Tara finishes the wing and sets the bone down on her plate before licking the extra sauce off her fingers.  Blinking as she realizes she’s been staring at Tara’s lips even after the witch had finished cleaning her fingers, Buffy groans and turns back towards the television.  The woman beside her having started featuring heavily in her dreams at night, and truthfully into a few fantasies during the day also.  Honestly having almost talked herself into taking Tara up on the more ‘physical’ portion of the friends with benefits offer.  God knows she was interested in Tara, but thinking about the witch, she just didn’t think it was something that the witch would offer to just anyone and it still stumped her somewhat as to why she made the offer to her. 

 

Willow darts a glance over to Buffy and Tara, the two women’s closeness and the way they’re acting surprising her immensely.  Remembering Tara having almost seemed afraid of Buffy to begin with and then in awe of her more than anything afterwards, but not knowing when the two women had actually become friends.  Feeling a hint of jealousy and sadness at the thought, Willow turns back towards the television and her pizza.

 

***

 

Laughing quietly at the end of Dawn’s movie, Tara stands and stretches her back.  “I’ll be back in a few minutes.” 

 

Buffy looks at the clock after watching Tara trot up the stairs, a small smile on her face as she realizes Tara has a great looking ass.  “Go ahead and throw the next movie in.  I’ll go on patrol afterwards before the last one.”  Buffy stands and gathers the leftover trash from their dinner, the four women having pretty much demolished the two large pizzas.  Having already told Dawn that the last movie wasn’t something she wanted the teenager to watch until she saw exactly what it consisted of, Dawn having pouted before finally accepting her words with the promise if it was okay for her to watch, she could watch it in the morning.

 

“I think some popcorn sounds good.  Anyone else?”  Willow starts to get up, surprised when Buffy waves her to sit back down.

 

“I’ll fix it.  I can do that without burning it.  I’ll bring the two liter back with me for refills.”  Buffy offers as she strides towards the kitchen with the trash in her hands. 

 

Tara trots back down the stairs, chuckling as she hears Buffy mumbling to herself from the kitchen as she punches the buttons on the microwave.  Grabbing her glass, she looks at Dawn’s and Willows.  “Do you two want something more to drink?”

 

“Buffy is going to bring back a two liter.”  Dawn offers over her shoulder as she maneuvers her back against the chair, grinning up at Tara. 

 

“I’ll get some more ice for the glasses, then.”  Tara reaches down and scratches the teenager’s head gently, chuckling as Dawn leans into the caress, thinking about how much the two sisters are alike.  Patting Dawn’s head before heading towards the kitchen, Tara stops at the entrance to the kitchen and watches Buffy as the slayer dumps the first bag of popcorn in one bowl while waiting for the next bag to pop. 

 

“How many bags do you think I should pop?”  Buffy reaches for the popcorn salt and sprinkles some on the first bowl before setting it on the island and watching as Tara finally steps the rest of the way into the kitchen. 

 

“How much are you going to eat?”  Tara grins crookedly at the slayer before reaching into the refrigerator to grab the fresh two liter of Coke out of it before shutting the door and reaching up to the freezer.

 

“Probably a bag or so.”  Buffy admits as she shifts over by Tara.  Leaning in, she whispers softly into Tara’s ear.  “Can I have a hug?  I don’t smell like a grease factory anymore and no one’s in here with us.”

 

Tara chuckles softly as she sets the two liter and the ice down on the island and opens her arms, not that surprised when Buffy steps easily into the circle of her arms and buries her face in her neck. 

 

Buffy wiggles her hands under the witch’s shirt and strokes over the soft skin of Tara’s back, soaking up the warmth and softness of the witch.  “Would you want to go on patrol with me tonight before coming back to watch the last movie?”

 

“That’ll make it really late, sweetie.”  Tara points out softly, stroking her hands up and down Buffy’s back. 

 

“But the last movie I rented was for you.”  Buffy admits seriously.  “We can stop at your place and pick you up a change of clothes and sleepwear and you can stay the night here.  I’ll even let Taz stay, too.” 

 

Tara chuckles softly at the slayer’s comment about her slippers.  For some reason Buffy seemed to get a serious kick out of the items.  “So, I get to stay the night and sleep on the couch is what you’re telling me?”

 

“Well…”  Buffy pouts at the thought.  “Do you think Willow would understand you sharing the bed with me?”

 

Tara laughs softly.  “I don’t think so.  But your couch is comfortable.”

 

“But not for both of us.”  Buffy grumbles, finally sighing deeply and easing back to look at Tara.  Reaching up, she tucks some of the witch’s blonde hair behind her ear.  “Stay?”

 

Tara leans forward and rests her forehead against Buffy’s and nods.  “But we will need to stop by my apartment and pick up a few things for me.  I have to work tomorrow morning.”

 

“Okay.”  Buffy hugs Tara firmly before easing back.  “Let’s get the popcorn and soda’s out there before they wonder what’s taking us so long.”

 

Tara reaches back and tucks her shirt back into her jeans before grabbing the ice container and the two liter, laughing softly as Buffy grumbles quietly as she throws another bag of popcorn in the microwave. 

 

***

 

Chapter 6

 

Willow locks the door behind Buffy and Tara as they head out on patrol, surprised at the fact that Buffy had talked Tara into coming back to the house and staying the night.  Slowly making her way back to the couch, she looks at Dawn as the teenager switches the television to the Animal Planet channel.

 

Dawn glances over at Willow and sees the questioning look on the redhead’s face she raises both eyebrows and looks at Willow .  “What?”

 

“When did Buffy and Tara become so…  Well, when did they get to be such good friends?”  Willow finally decides on, staring at Dawn as she giggles and looks back at the television, wondering silently at the giggle as Dawn starts to speak.

 

“They’ve been friends for a while, Willow .”  Dawn starts until she sees the spark of anger with underlying hurt cross Willow ’s eyes, making her backtrack quickly.  “Well, acquaintances I guess might be a better description.  I mean, Buffy’s known Tara ever since you two were dating.  And the last month or two they’ve made a habit of getting together occasionally to talk and basically keeping in touch type thing.”  Dawn turns her attention back to the television, not wanting to admit to the redhead her suspicions regarding Buffy and Tara.  Buffy having let it slip a couple times in the last few weeks that she’d been spending quite a bit of time with Tara.  Honestly believing that Buffy didn’t even realize what she’d said when she’d talk about Tara going on patrol with her or eating dinner with the witch at her apartment and so on.  Having been somewhat jealous at the time Buffy was spending with Tara until she realized that Buffy was relaxing and smiling more often since she’d been spending time with the blonde.  And no matter what, ultimately she just wants her sister back and happy.  If that meant she and Tara are together in a more serious way, she wasn’t going to complain.  Honestly after thinking about it for a few days, she figures the two women would be good for each other.

 

Willow furrows her brows as she stares at the teenager who’s now paying complete attention to the program showing on the television.  Having a feeling Dawn isn’t telling her something, or knows more than she’s letting on but not knowing what it might be.  It never occurs to Willow that the two women might be dating or seeing each other in more than a friend way, since Buffy was strictly into men.  Conveniently forgetting that until Tara came along, she was a member of boy’s town only also. 

 

Settling back into the couch as she pulls her feet up, she gets comfortable as she watches the show with Dawn.  Her mind trying to think of ways that she can make amends to Tara for the things she’d done. 

 

***

 

“It’s quiet tonight.”  Tara comments softly as they make their way slowly back towards her apartment so she can pick up clothes and her necessities. 

 

“Don’t jinx it.”  Buffy quirks her lips at Tara, her eyes twinkling as they connect with warm blue.

 

“Sorry.”  Tara bumps her shoulder with Buffy’s laughing softly.  “So what did you rent for me?”

 

“You’ll just have to wait and see.”  Buffy chuckles at the soft growl she receives from the Wiccan. 

 

Tara silently wonders if Buffy actually looked for the Glenn Close movie, but shakes it off, not thinking the slayer would actually rent it once she figured out what it was about, knowing the slayer is into the action and horror flicks.  Laughing internally at the thought of the slayer saying they were comedic relief with the obvious fake moves and monsters.  Though seeing the things they’ve seen in real life, she silently agrees with Buffy.

 

“How’s school going?”  Buffy finally questions as they make their way up the stairs to Tara’s apartment.

 

“Good.  All the teachers are hitting us hard right before spring break.”  Tara unlocks the door, allowing Buffy to step in before her. 

 

“Planning on going anywhere or doing anything over spring break?”  Buffy watches as Tara steps over to her dresser to pull out nightclothes and underwear her eyes unconsciously noting the pale pink matching underwear. 

 

“Staying here and working at the store.”  Tara looks up, smiling at Buffy before pulling out a small duffel bag to put her clothes in.  Turning back to the small wardrobe, she pulls down a button-up shirt and jeans to wear the following day at work. 

 

Buffy nibbles on her bottom lip as she watches Tara lean over as she carefully folds her clothes and places them in the bag.  Finally stepping up behind the witch, she wraps her arms around her waist and presses her body gently against Tara’s back.  Not surprised when she feels Tara’s hands caress over her arms and the woman lean back against her encouraging the contact.  Burying her face in Tara’s hair, Buffy inhales deeply of the light lavender scent and the underlying scent that is all Tara. 

 

Tara slowly lifts one of Buffy’s hands after a few minutes and presses a soft kiss against each knuckle before brushing her cheek over the back of Buffy’s hand.  “Are you okay, sweetie?”

 

Buffy nods her head against Tara, sighing quietly at the thought of what she wants… no, actually needs from the witch and the fact that if Willow were to find out, her best friend wouldn’t just be hurt, she’d probably be devastated.  A small voice in her head telling her that Willow had made her own bed and needed to lie in it.  That Tara is offering her something that has already made her feel happier than she’d ever thought she’d be again.  Admittedly, she’s still known to drop into a ‘funk’, but it isn’t all the time like it had been and more often than not she finds herself smiling at something that’s said or done now.  The woman in her arms responsible for the change in her, slowly bringing her back into the land of the living whereas Spike had been trying to drag her into his world, now seeing things a lot more clearly than she had just a month ago. 

 

Tara patiently waits to see if Buffy wants to say anything, pressing Buffy’s palm against her lips, holding it there for a few moments, arching slightly as Buffy’s other hand pulls gently at her shirt and wiggles it’s way underneath to stroke over her stomach, making her close her eyes as the low buzz of desire she almost always seems to have around the slayer starts to become stronger. 

 

Buffy holds her hand against Tara’s mouth for a moment even after the witch releases it before stroking slowly down Tara’s neck, smiling softly as she hears the slight hitch to Tara’s breath as her fingers trail further than they have before to tease over the edge of Tara’s bra.  Having spent a couple hours one night tracing Tara’s features, ears and neck after Tara had asked if there was anything she wanted.  Knowing she had surprised the witch when she’d asked her if she could just touch her. 

 

Tara pushes back a little harder against Buffy, an unplanned whimper escaping her lips as the slayer’s strong fingers delve just under her bra while her other hand spreads open and presses gently against her abdomen.

 

“You’re so warm and soft.  Your skin feels like silk.”  Buffy whispers, brushing her cheek against the back of Tara’s head as she closes her eyes and just lets her fingers stroke over Tara’s body, concentrating on the feel of Tara’s body and the warmth it suffuses inside her along with the desire coalescing within her.  Hooking her chin over Tara’s shoulder, Buffy finally opens her eyes and rests her head against Tara’s, listening to the witch’s increased breathing and heartbeat. 

 

Taking in a shuddering breath as Buffy’s fingers stroke closer and closer to her nipple, Tara swallows roughly.  “B-buffy?”  Tara stutters out the slayer’s name questioningly, not sure what the slayer’s wanting or trying to do. 

 

Buffy shifts back slightly from Tara, slowly maneuvering around in front of the witch, between her and the bed, letting her hands trail over her body, inhaling sharply at the feel of Tara’s hard nipple against her palm even as Tara arches into the barely there pressure.  Buffy’s eyes take in the desire-flushed features of the Wiccan along with the slightly open lips that air’s being dragged into Tara’s body through before being exhaled quietly.  Eyes zeroing in on those full, pouty lips, Buffy groans and finally gives in to the desire to find out what they feel like against hers. 

 

Tara unconsciously holds her breath as she feels Buffy’s lips caress slowly over hers before the slayer cups the back of her head, gradually pressing more firmly against her.  Whimpering against Buffy’s lips, Tara finally melts into the slayer’s body, returning the kiss, opening to Buffy’s questing tongue, wrapping her arms around the slayer’s waist, holding the woman gently.

 

Buffy moans at the feel of Tara’s body sinking into hers as she battles slowly and tantalizingly against the Wiccan’s tongue, the flavor of the witch delicious.  Working her other hand upwards, Buffy slowly threads both hands through Tara’s hair, tilting her head for a better fit as she wraps her tongue around Tara’s, urging it to come into her mouth.  Finally capturing the muscle between her lips, Buffy growls as she suckles on the muscle for long minutes until they both break off, panting heavily. 

 

Tara rests her forehead against Buffy’s, trying desperately to get control of her breathing, out of control heartbeat and the desire that is literally flooding her panties.  “Goddess, Buffy.”  Tara whimpers out the two words, finally dragging her eyes open to look into desire-filled hazel.

 

Buffy slowly trails her tongue over her lips, dropping her eyes from Tara’s dark blue to the full, kiss-swollen lips.  Leaning in, she captures Tara’s bottom lip between hers and suckles firmly on the flesh for a few seconds before releasing it.  “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.”  Buffy admits quietly, pulling a hand down to brush her thumb over Tara’s lips. 

 

Tara chuckles hoarsely and presses her lips against Buffy’s thumb.  “So… is this just a one off?”

 

“No.”  Buffy shakes her head slowly.  “I want this…  Actually I think I need this.  You’re bringing me back to the land of the living, Tara.  I, I may not have said it, but thank you for helping me.”

 

“Though you don’t need to thank me, you’re welcome.”  Tara reaches up and runs her fingers gently down Buffy’s cheek and neck.  “I probably should finish gathering my stuff.”

 

Buffy nods and slowly drops her hands from Tara as she shifts to the side.  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

 

“No thank you.  After I pick up my toothbrush, hairbrush and personal items out of the bathroom, I’m set.”  Tara returns the smile she sees pointing her way from Buffy before heading to the bathroom. 

 

Buffy sits down on the bed, her hand stroking softly over the comforter as she looks around the small room, really hating the fact the witch is living here.  Making a mental note to talk to Xander and see if he can maybe finish the basement into another bedroom without it costing her an arm and a leg.  Looking up as Tara makes her way to the bed, tucking away her personal items inside the bag.  Standing quickly, Buffy takes the bag from Tara after the witch zips it closed and lifts it.  “I…”  Buffy starts, only to stop and search Tara’s questioning blue eyes.  “Damn it, Tara.”  Buffy huskily whispers before closing the distance between them again after dropping the bag onto the bed, pulling Tara against her and kissing the witch hungrily, the desire pooling hot and heavy in her lower abdomen. 

 

Tara eagerly returns the slayer’s kisses, loving the deeply intense battle of wills with Buffy.  Somehow knowing that kissing, and ultimately making love with Buffy would be intense and mind blowing.  And if the kisses she’s exchanged with the slayer is anything to go by, mind blowing may not even be an apt enough description.  Breaking off the kiss, Tara groans loudly and silently wonders when her hands had ended up on the slayer’s ass.  Relaxing the grip she has on Buffy’s butt cheeks, she gently rubs the muscular flesh for a moment as she wonders if it’s possible to spontaneously combust. 

 

“We better go, before I get distracted again.”  Buffy rubs a hand over her eyes roughly, silently wondering if she can sneak off into Tara’s bathroom to take care of the ache that feels like it isn’t going to go away without a helping hand.

 

“You won’t hear me complain.”  Tara murmurs watching Buffy grab the bag and toss it over her shoulder before Buffy darts her a glare.  Smirking at the look, Tara shrugs. 

 

“Let’s go.”  Buffy growls softly, striding over to the door and opening it, waiting for Tara to step through before turning around, digging her keys out of her pocket and locking it behind her.  Trotting down the stairs behind Tara, Buffy rests her hand on Tara’s lower back as they make their way quietly back to her house. 

 

***

 

Chapter 7

 

Buffy leans over Dawn and gently shakes her shoulder until she wakes up.  “Why don’t you go to bed?”  Buffy smiles as Dawn blinks owlishly up at her, the haze from just being woken up obvious in her eyes.

 

“’Kay.  Bed.  ‘Night.”  Dawn rolls around and uses the chair to push herself up and stumbles towards the stairs.

 

“I better make sure she doesn’t fall down them and break her fool neck.”  Buffy looks towards Tara, winking.  “I’ll just throw this in my room for now.”  Buffy holds up the bag before hurrying up the stairs behind her sister.

 

Tara smiles and nods before turning back to Willow, who’s curled up asleep on the couch.  Having told Buffy she’d wake Willow up, Tara shakes her head at her ex-lover.  “Willow, wake up.”  Tara gently nudges Willow’s shoulder until blurry green eyes look up at her, smiling sadly at the unchecked smile crossing Willow’s face as she looks at her.  The caring and love still obvious in the look Willow gives her.  “We made it back from patrol fine.  You’re tired, why don’t you go ahead and go to bed.” 

 

The first thing Willow sees when she wakens is Tara’s blue eyes, the happiness she feels undeniable until Tara speaks and the fact that they aren’t a couple settles into her slowly waking mind.  The smile dimming and finally disappearing completely from her face, Willow nods.  “I am kind of tired.”  Willow admits as she stands, stretching as she looks at Tara.  “You’ll be here in the morning?”  Willow questions hesitantly.

 

“For a little while.  I’ll make pancakes before I have to go to work.  Dawn’s been begging me for them.”  Tara grins crookedly at the thought of the teenager, before her eyes slowly rise to the landing as Buffy hesitates looking towards them before coming down, unaware of the slow smile crossing her face at the sight of the slayer.

 

“I went ahead and changed into sleepwear, just in case.”  Buffy admits, shrugging at Tara’s smile, her hands unconsciously going to her Hello Kitty pajamas and smoothing down them.  “If you want to go ahead and change…”  Buffy waves a hand upstairs.  “Your bag is sitting on my bed.”

 

Willow looks from Buffy to Tara and back again, still not sure of what’s going on between the two women.  Swearing she’s missing something, but not having any idea what it is.  “Well, I’m going to go to bed.  Do you work tomorrow, Buff?”

 

“Yeah, afternoon shift.”  Buffy nods her head, stepping down off the last step and moving to the side as Willow heads her way, sparing a glance for the redhead.  “Good night, Wills.”

 

“’Night, Buff.”  Willow yawns, patting Buffy on the shoulder as she walks by the slayer.  “Good night, Tara.  I’ll see you in the morning.”  Willow hesitates and looks back at Tara, noticing it takes a second for her ex-lover to look up at her, frowning slightly at the look on Tara’s face before Tara schools her features.  Shaking it off, Willow finally finishes walking up the stairs after Tara wishes her a soft good night. 

 

Tara waits until she hears the slight squeak to the master bedroom door, signaling that Willow has indeed gone to bed.  Making her way towards the stairs, she comes to a stop in front of Buffy. 

 

“Go change, Tara.”  Buffy whispers as she gently reaches up to cup Tara’s cheek, searching blue eyes.  Seeing the burning desire flaring back to life, Buffy groans deeply as she feels the answering heat in her own body.  Having effectively put her desire out of her mind, it’s now making an almost violent comeback.  “Take your time, I’m going to throw a couple more bags of popcorn in the microwave and get us something to drink.” 

 

Tara swallows, seeing the answering desire in Buffy’s eyes.  “Is it okay if I go ahead and take my shower tonight, that way I won’t have to worry about it in the morning?”

 

“Of course.”  Buffy nods, stroking her thumb tenderly over Tara’s cheek before leaning in and uncaring if anyone sees them or not, Buffy kisses Tara softly.  “You know where everything is, make yourself at home.” 

 

“Thank you.”  Tara turns her face and presses an open mouthed kiss to Buffy’s palm before finally hurrying up the stairs.

 

Buffy exhales loudly as she watches Tara jog lightly up the stairs, before spinning around on her heel as she heads to the kitchen.  Quickly throwing a bag of popcorn into the microwave, Buffy opens the door to the basement, trotting down the stairs as her hand already works its way into her pajama bottoms.  Knowing she has to ease this ache or she’ll end up pouncing on Tara like a dog in heat, and the witch deserves a hell of a lot better than that.  Groaning at the wetness already escaping her, Buffy leans against the wall and quickly slides her coated fingers over her distended clit, bucking uncontrollably into the touch.  Working the small piece of flesh faster and harder until it quivers uncontrollably, making her grunt as she finally pinches the spasming muscle between her fingers, causing her to orgasm immediately. 

 

Buffy rests against the concrete wall, her hand now cupping her apex, the throbbing of her body making her close her eyes as she takes a few minutes before slowly trailing her fingers over her swollen clit again realizing it’ll probably take another couple orgasms to take the edge off and she doesn’t have much time.

 

***

 

Tara smiles as she trots down the stairs, Buffy just now setting down the big bowl of popcorn and a couple bottles of water on the coffee table. 

 

Buffy slowly trails her eyes up the Wiccan’s legs and full figure hesitating for a moment on Tara’s breasts, no denying the fact that she isn’t wearing a bra before making contact with dark blue eyes.  “Sit and get comfortable.”  Buffy waves towards the couch before she heads towards the stack of movies, pulling out Serving In Silence to put in. 

 

Tara settles in the same corner of the couch she’d sat in earlier, reaching over to pick up a bottle of water and opening it to sip before putting the lid back on it and tucking it in beside her.  Accepting the bowl Buffy hands her, she watches curiously as the slayer grabs the other bottle of water before lying down on the couch, wiggling around and resting her head on her lap.  Chuckling softly as Buffy looks at the bowl above her and opens her mouth, Tara rolls her eyes.  Setting the bowl on the end table beside her, she grabs a handful of the popcorn out and let’s a couple pieces drop into the slayer’s mouth before taking some for herself. 

 

Buffy crunches on the popcorn watching Tara’s face as the menu to the movie comes up, smiling at the surprised look on her face.  “You did say you wanted to see it.”

 

“But…”  Tara blinks in surprise as she looks down at Buffy.  The slayer’s relatively simple gesture meaning more to her than Buffy probably realizes.  “I didn’t expect you to rent it, sweetie.”  Tara finally admits softly, reaching up with her clean hand and trailing her fingers over Buffy’s cheek.  “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.  Though I did get a very… appraising... look from the girl at the movie rental place when I asked where it was located.  You might have some competition.”  Buffy jokes quietly, winking at Tara before grabbing the remote and pressing the play button. 

 

Tara takes a deep, calming breath as she thinks about the fact that Willow refused to rent any gay or lesbian films going on about how the government keeps track of you by what you rent, buy and so forth with all the ‘memberships’ to everywhere and that she didn’t want them categorizing them.  And here’s Buffy, the slayer, and a woman that until very recently was about the straightest person she could imagine had gone and rented Serving In Silence without a second thought, just because she wanted to see it.  A small smile crosses her lips as it occurs to her that Buffy probably did become embarrassed, but it still didn’t stop her from renting it.  Stroking her fingers through Buffy’s hair, she turns her gaze to the movie as it starts to play. 

 

***

 

Buffy looks up at Tara, the witch having kept up her stroking through the majority of the movie while occasionally feeding her popcorn.  “I didn’t realize that was based on a true story.”  Buffy admits as the credits start to roll, shifting to lie on her back and look up at Tara.  “And I can’t believe I rented a lesbian flick and they only really kissed the once, and I’ve kissed Willow with more passion than that.”  Buffy snorts and starts to laugh at the glare she gets from Tara. 

 

“And when, may I ask, have you been kissing Willow?”  Tara pinches Buffy on the cheek, before grinning crookedly at the slayer. 

 

“Don’t remember, but I’m sure I had to’ve kissed her sometime.”  Buffy comments tongue-in-cheek. 

 

“And here I thought I was the first woman you kissed.”  Tara sighs heavily as if she’s disappointed.  “And if you were looking for some hot action, you need to rent Gia.”  Tara wiggles her eyebrows at the slayer.

 

“Gia?”  Buffy looks up curiously at Tara as she shifts and props herself up on her arms so she’s face to face with the witch, just a few inches between their lips.  Watching interestedly as Tara licks her lips while her heart rate obviously picks up. 

 

“Uh, huh.  Ummm…  It has Angelina Jolie and Elizabeth Mitchell starring in it.  Very sexy and steamy scenes between the two women.”  Tara whispers, her eyes captured by dark hazel eyes watching her intently. 

 

“I like Angelina Jolie… not so sure I know who Elizabeth Mitchell is.”  Buffy slowly closes the distance between her and Tara.  “And, Tara?”  Buffy whispers, watching as Tara slowly nods her head to let her know that she’s paying attention.  “I’ve never kissed Willow, or any other woman for that matter, on the lips before you.” 

 

Tara groans softly as with the slayer’s words, she finishes closing the distance between them and gently places small kisses across her lips before her tongue darts out to trail tantalizingly over first her top lip, then her bottom lip before wiggling its way between them to delve almost lovingly in her mouth. 

 

Buffy continues to prop herself up with her left hand on the other side of the witch as she brings her right hand up to thread through Tara’s hair, cupping the back of her head as she tilts her head for a better fit and starts more of a battle of wills with the witch. 

 

Unable to resist, Tara wiggles her hand under the slayer’s top, stroking over the woman’s side and back, her hand slowly making its way higher until her thumb caresses over the starting swell at the side of Buffy’s breast, exhaling into the kiss at the feel of the flesh.

 

Finally breaking the kiss to drag much needed air into her lungs, Buffy rests her forehead against Tara’s, listening to the heavily panting breaths coming from the blonde, along with the hot wash of her breath over her lips and chin.  Tara’s light brushing of her thumb over just the side of her breast slowly driving her nuts, Buffy finally shifts her body enough for the thumb to caress over her nipple, making her moan loudly at the feel. 

 

“Goddess.”  Tara murmurs as she strokes again and again over the hard flesh, following Buffy as the slayer moves back to her previous position, keeping up the soft strokes for a few moments before flicking the hardened nipple with the edge of her thumb nail.  “Go upstairs, Buffy.”  Tara finally hoarsely orders, shifting her hand down to rest against the slayer’s ribs.

 

“No.”  Buffy shakes her head, searching blue eyes after finally opening hers after the delightful feel of Tara’s touch.  “Come with me.”

 

“No.”  Tara leans forward and closes her eyes, taking a deep, calming breath before exhaling it slowly.  “If you’re wanting to do this, it isn’t going to be rushed or with Willow and Dawn within hearing distance of us.”

 

Buffy groans and tugs on the hair her hand is still buried in.  “Come with me anyway.  I promise to behave… somewhat.” Buffy allows a small smile to cross her face at the low laughter coming from Tara with her qualification.  “You’ll probably sleep better in my bed than down here on the couch, Tara.  Please?”

 

Tara groans and brushes her nose against Buffy’s, before finally nodding her head.  “What are we going to say to Willow or Dawn in the morning if they question why I was there?”

 

“Nothing.  It isn’t any of their business.”  Buffy presses her lips gently against Tara’s, silently admitting to herself that she really enjoys Tara-kisses as much as Tara-hugs.  “Go upstairs, I’ll clean up our mess.”  Buffy nips gently on Tara’s bottom lip before easing her hand out of her hair and pushing herself up and away from Tara. 

 

Tara hesitates for a moment before finally pushing herself up from the sofa and makes her way to the stairs, stopping when she feels a small hand grasping her hand.  Turning to look at Buffy, she smiles at the happy light she sees in hazel eyes watching her. 

 

“I know it isn’t easy being here with everything, but I want to thank you for coming.”  Buffy strokes her thumb over Tara’s soft inner wrist. 

 

“You’re welcome.”  Tara doesn’t have to say that she did it for Buffy, the slayer already knowing why she said yes to staying here. 

 

“I’ll be up in a few minutes.”  Buffy releases Tara’s wrist allowing the witch to climb up the stairs unmolested before turning back and hurrying to turn everything off after picking up the dishes and empty water bottles. 

 

Striding into the kitchen, she tosses the bottles into the recycle bin before rinsing the dishes off and placing them in the dishwasher, debating for a moment before pouring in the detergent and setting the cycle for the dishwasher to run.  Standing looking out the window, she clasps the counter for a minute as she takes deep, calming breaths to calm her racing heart.  Knowing she can’t sneak downstairs like she did earlier to take care of the need working through her, Tara would question why it took so long for her to come upstairs if she did. 

 

Sighing heavily she flicks off the light after checking the back door and makes her way towards the stairs and detouring to the bathroom to take care of necessities plus brush her teeth before heading to her bedroom.  Stepping inside, she smiles softly at the sight of Tara already snuggled in on the left side of the bed.  Shutting and locking the door, Buffy slowly approaches the witch.  Sitting on the edge of the bed by Tara, Buffy reaches out and slowly strokes her hand over a soft cheek.  “You’re a beautiful woman, Tara.”  Buffy smiles at the soft blush that appears on Tara’s cheeks.  Seeing the witch about to argue, she places a finger across the full lips.  “Don’t argue with me.  You are a very beautiful woman, and anyone would be lucky to have you in their lives.  We just happened to luck out that you came to Sunnydale.”

 

“I think I was the lucky one.”  Tara murmurs softly after gently tugging Buffy’s hand down to clasp against her chest.  “Come lay down, Buffy.  We both have to work tomorrow.” 

 

Buffy snarls her lip up at the thought of having to work, but knowing she doesn’t have a choice in the matter she nods and reaches over to turn off the lamp before pulling the covers back off Tara and settling carefully on top of the surprised witch, but keeping the majority of her weight to her knees and hands.  “I want you to come over more frequently, Tara.  I know it’s hard with Willow, but I would like to see you more often than the few hours here and there that we’re able to be together.”

 

Tara kisses Buffy lightly as she wraps her arms around the slayer’s body, gently urging her to put more of her weight on her.  “You won’t hurt me, Buffy.”  Tara tugs more firmly when Buffy refuses.  Finally as the slayer settles on her and snuggles against her neck, Tara smiles softly.  “Sleep, my sweet slayer.”

 

Buffy reaches down and pulls the covers up to make sure they’re covered as she wiggles slightly as she gets more comfortable.  “Can you sleep like this?”

 

“I’m pretty sure I can.  If I have a problem, I’ll toss you off.”  Tara chuckles at the quiet grunt she gets in response.  Wiggling her hands under the slayer’s top, she strokes over the strong back, sighing quietly as she feels sleep coming on quickly.  It having been a busy and long day, Tara threads her fingers together behind Buffy’s back as she slowly falls asleep. 

 

Buffy listens as Tara’s breathing gets deeper and heavier, knowing the witch is asleep.  Shifting slightly so she’s half lying on top of the witch, she slowly wiggles her hand under Tara’s tank top to cup the warm, full breast, slowly following Tara into the land of dreams, her hand never leaving it’s new home once during the night.

 

***

 

Chapter 8

 

Buffy sighs quietly as she wakes, glancing over at the alarm clock, knowing it’s going to go off in about five more minutes.  Nuzzling back into the warm neck of the witch, she kneads Tara’s breast her hand is still cupping, smiling at the sleepy moan coming from Tara.  “It’s almost time to get up.”

 

“Uh, huh.”  Tara reaches up and clasps the hand that’s fingers had started to pinch and twist her nipple gently.  “That’s not incentive to get out of bed, Buffy.” 

 

Buffy smirks at the low, husky and obviously aroused voice of the witch.  Pressing her body more firmly against Tara’s side, Buffy rocks her hips gently against Tara’s leg.  “Who said anything about getting out of bed?”  Admittedly, she’s aroused, but it isn’t the hot burning desire like it was the night before.  Now it’s just warm embers that could be flamed to life very easily, but something that doesn’t have to be attended to.

 

“Buffy.”  Tara whimpers softly, arching her neck as the slayer nibbles along the juncture of her neck and shoulder. 

 

Sighing quietly, Buffy presses a firm kiss to Tara’s pulse point before easing her body and her hand from Tara.  Slowly falling onto her back, she watches as Tara takes a couple deep breaths before slowly easing from the bed, the delicate-fingered hand reaching out to turn off the alarm that just went off.  “If you want to get ready for work, I’ll run downstairs and get the ingredients together for breakfast.”  Buffy finally offers, easing from the bed, quickly making it before turning to Tara who’s watching her intently, dark blue eyes settling on her.

 

“What I want, and what I have to do aren’t necessarily the same thing.”  Tara finally admits after a few seconds of searching Buffy’s eyes, seeing the slow burn of desire in hazel depths, but noting that it wasn’t burning uncontrollably. 

 

“They usually aren’t.”  Buffy agrees softly, stepping up, invading Tara’s personal space as she kisses her softly.  “Good morning.  I’ll see you downstairs.”  Buffy whispers before stepping around Tara, unlocking and opening the door.

 

Tara exhales softly as one second Buffy’s there, the next she’s out the door.  “Goddess.”  Tara rubs a hand over her face, wondering if she’s going to be able to make it through this ‘Friends With Benefits’, without losing herself.  The love she’s feeling for the slayer having become deeper as they spent more time together, and being in love with Buffy isn’t part of the deal.

 

Shaking off her thoughts, since there isn’t a hell of a lot she can do about it, she gathers her clothes and other items, heading quickly towards the bathroom.

 

***

 

Tara smiles quickly as she hears Dawn’s excited voice talking to Buffy as she makes her way to the kitchen.  Setting her bag down in the dining room, she continues into the kitchen, chuckling as she hears the quiet groan escape Buffy.  “Why don’t you go freshen up, sweetie?  It’ll take me about fifteen or so minutes to fix breakfast.”

 

“Even with an irritating teenager underfoot?”  Buffy growls playfully at her sister, before chuckling at the whine she gets in response from Dawn.  “I’ll pop my head in and see if Willow ’s going to join us for breakfast.”  Buffy looks at the clock, knowing it’s still early for the redhead that likes to sleep in on the weekends, but the fact that Tara is in the house and making breakfast isn’t something Willow would be happy about missing. 

 

“Thank you.”  Tara looks up from where she’d started measuring ingredients after turning the griddle on to pre-heat. 

 

Dawn looks from her sister to Tara and back again, the soft smiles between the two women settling it inside her that there is definitely something going on between them.  But not wanting to jinx whatever it is Dawn decides for once she needs to keep her mouth shut so she doesn’t cause problems.  Of course, the fact that Tara had obviously slept in Buffy’s room had only been a minor surprise when she’d come down the stairs, having expected to see Tara sleeping on the couch.  “Hey, Tara?  Buffy told me I had to wait and see if the movie she rented for you was something I could watch and I was wondering…”

 

Tara looks up and grins crookedly at the teenager.  “I’m not sure how interested you will be in the story, sweetie, but it isn’t anything you can’t watch.”  Turning her gaze back to the ingredients, she starts to mix them with the whisk.  “It’s a true story about a Colonel in the Army that admitted she was a Lesbian and the fallout from that.  Glenn Close plays the lead character.  And just to be on the safe side, you may want to ask Buffy, though I doubt she’ll have a problem with you watching it, if you want to.”

 

“So, no hot and heavy girl-on-girl action, huh?”  Dawn grins as she settles more comfortably on the stool, eyes twinkling at the laughter coming from Tara with her words.

 

“Buffy made a similar comment about the lack of… affection.”  Tara darts Dawn a quick glance, smirking at the teenager. 

 

“I somehow doubt my sister phrased it that way.”  Dawn points out, watching as a light blush works its way up Tara’s cheeks even as Tara looks at her mischievously. 

 

“No, I think it was more along the lines of ‘I can’t believe I rented a lesbian flick and they really only kissed…’-” Tara starts, only to start laughing as she hears Buffy yelling at her from upstairs.  “Well, you get the drift.”  Tara grins crookedly as Dawn giggles uncontrollably.

 

“I’ll set the table.”  Dawn continues to giggle softly while grabbing down the plates and silverware, Buffy joking and teasing her this morning making her happier than she would have imagined possible.  With Tara being there and fixing breakfast it was like having her cake and getting to eat it too. 

 

***

 

Tara opens the door, smiling at the slayer who’s leaning comfortably against the wall with her arms crossed over her chest. 

 

“Feel like keeping me company on patrol tonight?”  Buffy feels her lips quirk up as without a word, Tara reaches down by the door and pulls out her ‘bag of witch-y goodness’ as she calls it and straps the fanny pack around her waist.  “Expecting me?”

 

Tara chuckles as she steps out of the apartment and locks the door.  “Let’s just say, I was prepared just in case.”

 

“Trying your hand at being a Boy Scout?”  Buffy smirks at the growl she hears coming over Tara’s shoulder as she follows the witch down the stairs.

 

“Girl Scout.  At least get the sex right.”  Tara whimpers as she feels a small hand caress slowly down her back and across one of her butt cheeks as Buffy leans into her after they turn onto the sidewalk.

 

“Trust me.  I know you’re a woman, Tara.” Buffy gives the flesh a gentle squeeze before patting it and steps more beside Tara than the step she was behind her.

 

Tara exhales softly as she licks her lips, the feel of the warm hand grasping her butt sending a streak of warmth and desire through her body.  “How was work today, sweetie?”

 

“Same ol’.”  Buffy shrugs, keeping pace with Tara while keeping all her senses open to the area around them.  “They didn’t work you too hard at the corner store today, did they?” 

 

Tara smiles and slowly shakes her head.  “You know they don’t.”

 

“I know.”  Buffy smiles briefly at the thought of the middle-aged couple that owns the store.  The couple had pretty much taken Tara under their wing and let her work whatever shifts and hours that she wanted, and actually got on her when she insisted on stocking the heavier items on the shelves, insisting that the couple of teenage boys they have come in for a couple hours each day can do it.  “I know I’m pushing my luck here, but…”  Buffy starts and stops to take a deep breath before plunging on.  “But would you consider spending spring break at the house with me?  Dawn’s going on vacation with her friend Caroline and Willow’s actually meeting her parents in New York for the week.”

 

“Really?”  Tara looks somewhat shocked at Buffy at the thought of Willow actually meeting her missing in action parents for a week.

 

“Yeah, kinda weird, isn’t it?”  Buffy chuckles at the shocked look on Tara’s face along with the slow nod of the blonde’s head. 

 

“I only met them twice.”  Tara admits softly, shaking her head at the thought.  “They’ll probably jump up and down for joy when she tells them we’re broken up… if she tells them.”  Tara frowns at the thought, it having taken Willow a year before she’d introduced her to them as her girlfriend.  That being the second and last time she’d seen Mr. and Mrs. Rosenberg, having the distinct feeling they were extremely unhappy with Willow’s admittance of being gay and the introduction to her ‘girlfriend’. 

 

Buffy clenches her jaw slightly at the thought of Willow only having brought Tara to meet her parents the two times.  “They didn’t approve?”  Buffy rolls her eyes at her question.  “Don’t answer that.  That was a stupid question.  They went nuts over Willow dating Oz, who was in a band and wasn’t Jewish… of course they went ballistic over the fact Willow was dating another woman.”

 

“That pretty much sums it up.”  Tara admits quietly, taking a deep breath and trying to shake off the thoughts of how the Rosenberg’s had reacted to Willow and her being girlfriends.

 

Buffy rubs the back of her neck, feeling guilty for bringing it up and somehow feeling like she should apologize for Willow’s parent’s reaction, even though she had nothing to do with it.  Deciding on a different tack, she gently bumps hips with Tara, smiling as the witch looks at her curiously.  “My mom was pretty cool about it, after the original surprise wore off.”

 

“She was great.”  Tara smiles softly at the slayer.  Happy to see Buffy mentioning her mom without the whole hurt and sadness that usually permeates the woman when she thinks about Joyce.  “I think Willow was more worried about her reaction than her own parents.  Then again, Willow did admit that she knew they wouldn’t take it well.  She was more excited and nervous before we told Joyce, afraid she wouldn’t approve.”

 

“Mom was more of a mom for everyone than most of the other parents were.”  Buffy leans into the offered comfort of Tara’s arm slipping around her waist.  “I miss her.”

 

“I know, sweetie.  You’ll always miss her, but remembering the good times helps.  I know it does for me.”  Tara tilts her head slightly until it’s resting against Buffy’s for a few moments as they walk slowly around Sunnydale. 

 

“It does.”  Buffy wraps her arm around Tara’s waist and gives her a hug in thanks before sighing heavily.  “Think there’s going to be a vampire rising tonight in here.”  Buffy waves towards the cemetery as they turn into it, feeling a sense of loss as Tara steps away after releasing her.

 

“Just one?”  Tara questions curiously, seeing two new mounds not far from each other.

 

“As far as I’m aware.”  Buffy strides towards the nearest mound.  She kneels beside it as she tries to sense something before shrugging and standing as she makes her way to the other mound, her senses already starting to tingle as she draws closer.  “Pretty sure.” 

 

Tara smiles at the slayer before slowly turning in a circle as she keeps an eye open for anything else that might decide to come out of hiding.  “Have you seen Spike lately?” 

 

Buffy glances curiously at Tara, wondering if she means just ‘seeing’ him around way or as in a ‘fucking’ him way.  Seeing the guileless look in blue eyes, Buffy realizes Tara is just curious.  “I’ve run into him a few times to begin with, but the last couple weeks I haven’t seen anything of him.”  Buffy admits, shrugging her shoulders.  “Kind of glad he’s decided to leave well enough alone.  I thought I was going to have to stake him just so he’d catch a clue.”

 

Tara purses her lips as she considers the slayer, watching as Buffy stands back as the vampire finally starts to dig his way out of the grave.  Realizing Buffy was serious about what she’d said.  She had honestly thought about staking Spike.  Frowning at the brief thought flowing through her mind that she wished Buffy had, Tara shakes it off and watches as the slayer taunts and quickly strikes the vampire before bouncing back out of the way to only sneak in again with a quick punch.  Shifting to sit on top of a tombstone, Tara tilts her head as she watches Buffy work the vampire over for a few long moments before finally staking him.  When Buffy turns to her, a gleam in the hazel depths, Tara’s eyes widen slightly.

 

Buffy strides towards Tara, her eyes on the witch as she watches her intently.  Stepping up to Tara, she slides her hands from her knees upwards, gently separating Tara’s legs so she can step between them, exhaling softly at the feel of the warm heat pressing against her even as her breasts flatten against Tara’s.  “You have tomorrow off, right?” 

 

Tara swallows and slowly nods her head, the gleam of desire and want in Buffy’s eyes flaring brighter as she nods. 

 

“Dawn’s staying at a friend’s house tonight.”  Buffy rests her hands on Tara’s clenched fists, feeling the slight shake coming from them before she slowly makes her way up Tara’s arms until she’s clasping her hands behind Tara’s neck, searching blue eyes that have turned a deep violet, realizing the witch is extremely turned on right now, the eyes and the heavy scent of arousal dead giveaways.  Taking a really deep inhale through her nose of the delightful scent, Buffy searches Tara’s eyes.  “It’s my turn to say something similar to you that you said to me, Tara.  I won’t do anything that you don’t want.  We’ll stop if you’re not comfortable or you don’t want to continue.”

 

Exhaling softly, Tara slowly shakes her head.  “That isn’t going to be a problem, Buffy.”  Tara leans in and kisses Buffy softly at first, groaning and deepening the kiss as the slayer presses more firmly against her center even as she crushes her chest as she seems to try and climb inside her, the pounding at her center intensifying unbelievably as she rocks her hips to ease the ache as she wraps her legs around Buffy’s waist.

 

Growling, Buffy slides her hands down until she wiggles them underneath Tara’s ass and effectively picks Tara up, the desire coming from the witch slowly soaking through her shirt to coat her stomach, not believing how wet Tara’s become and how quickly.  Nipping firmly on Tara’s bottom lip as she slowly ends the kiss, Buffy rests her forehead against Tara’s shoulder, helping the witch grind into her stomach.

 

“Buffy… I need…”  Tara moans deeply, losing track of her thoughts as she feels the slayer’s fingers digging firmly into her ass cheeks.

 

“My turn… not here, not like this.”  Buffy shifts her head and presses a soft kiss on Tara’s neck, hearing the low whimper coming from Tara even as the witch slowly stops her grinding and rocking motion, it taking long minutes before Tara is just pressed against her, though the whimpers and heat coming from her are more than obvious with what she wants. 

 

“You could touch me right now, and I’d explode.”  Tara admits quietly, her body on the cusp of climaxing, knowing that’s all it would take, one stroke of a finger or tongue along her engorged flesh and she’d climax instantly. 

 

Buffy closes her eyes and sends up a silent prayer for strength, knowing it wouldn’t be that hard to undo Tara’s pants and slip her hand into the relatively loose cargo pants… hell, she might not even have to undo them.  Growling loudly at the thought, she gently eases the witch from her as Tara finally unhooks her legs and straightens them.  Quickly stepping back from the witch, Buffy isn’t even aware of her hand going to the damp spot on her stomach and stroking across it as she stares at Tara.  “Let’s go.” 

 

Tara jumps at the deep, hoarse words, the pupils of Buffy’s eyes so large she just sees the slightest ring of green around them.  The flush of desire and lust almost a physical entity coming from Buffy.  Slowly nodding her head, not even trying to speak, knowing her voice probably wouldn’t work right now anyway, she accepts the slayer’s hand as Buffy holds it out to her, the two women quietly and quickly making their way through Sunnydale and back towards Tara’s apartment.

 

***

Friends With Benefits 9-Epi

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